


Mar De Mentiras

by Apollo_Star



Category: Original Work
Genre: 1880s, Abandonment, Bounty Hunters, Character Death, Conflict, Drunken Flirting, Español | Spanish, F/M, Falling In Love, Family Bonding, Fights, Fluff and Angst, Gangs, Girls with Guns, Guns, Implied Sexual Content, Injury Recovery, Inspired by Red Dead Redemption, Love, Love Confessions, Mexican Character, Mild Smut, Pregnancy, Slow Burn, Unhealthy Relationships, Wild West
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 07:08:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 36,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23347441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Apollo_Star/pseuds/Apollo_Star
Summary: Martha Hasting gave herself an opportunity by moving from her working class life in Birmingham to the Wild West where she could take up a job as a bounty hunter. In 1882, the lifestyle of criminals was reaching its peek and everyday crimes were being committed by numerous and infamous gangs, it's up to Martha to ensure the criminals are caught and the rewards are given, everything after that is fair ground.
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Male Character
Kudos: 2





	1. The struggles of domestic life

"Martha Rose Hastings, you will not leave your family just so you can be a killer!”

“ Mom, I’m not bloody leaving yah, I’m giving us the chance to live a decent life!”

“We don’t need a better life, love. We’re perfectly fine where we are now.”

“But for how long can you say that…”

Beams of sunlight pierced through the window and landed at the foot of my bed, particles of dust fluttered above my eye-lashes as I snuggled myself deeper into the warm enclosure of my bed; my head sunk into the pillow like a rock plunging into the depths of a lake. I looked over my shoulder to find once again an untouched space. A discontented sigh left my lips as I clenched my fists until my knuckles lost its colour and turned white. Then I heard the far away noise of the front door being flung open, followed by disorganised steps and eventually he entered the room. I shut my eyes to give the facade that I was sleeping, hoping that he would come to my side and gently caress my cheek like he once did. Nothing, I was felt nothing but the stagnant air. As I felt a weight on the bed, I shifted the position of my body to face him but was met with his slouched back. I gazed with glossed eyes at his state, his disorderly hair that my finger would often thread through, his shoulders that used to be broad and reflected his resilient nature were now hunched over like a coward. Oh Jesse, at which point did you change? 

For the first couple of months of living in this manner, it was unmanageable; because of my occupation I was feared and less likely trusted, being from a different country though, now that was a crime as punishable as heresy according to some people. Meeting Jesse in that saloon is a memory I keep bringing myself back too, questioning what prior events led to that moment. For 23 years, I’d spent my nights awkwardly squeezed in a creaky bed with five other siblings, now I was accustomed to the countless sleepless nights where I prayed for his safe return to me. Telling him to never return was a choice I could never bring myself to make, the infinite amount of consequences battled within me. What if he gets himself killed?What if one day you’re collecting a reward for his head? Like the blood stains on my blouse, those thoughts seemed to never leave me. “ Estas borracho” I spoke with disgust laced within my tone, fumes of Jesse’s alcohol engulfed the air within the room. “ You ain’t a greaser so stop talking like one.” I peeled off the covers of the bed and felt the cold touch of the wooden floor flood into my toes.

Bundling up the cluster of clothes that lay on top of drawers, I dressed myself and stared into the mirror, unfortunately due to Jesse’s frequent outbursts the mirror was shattered into pieces like a spider’s web. I adjusted my clothes and reflected at how ghastly my appearance was like the dried mud that was splattered on to the ends of my trousers, the blouse I wore countless times was overshadowed by the midnight blue jacket, a man had nothing to offer in a game of poker except the clothes on his back and twenty minutes later he left as naked as the day he was born and I had acquired a new article of clothing. Delving my fingers into my hair, I tugged through all the knots, the rich brown pieces bouncing just below my shoulders. One last time; I peered into the mirror and still saw Jesse’s intoxicated form. Shuffling across the wooden planks of the living room, I opened the kitchen cupboards that were above me, as I balanced on the tips of my feet I saw how depleted we were of food, Jesse became territorial when the subject of food arose for a man of his size you would wonder where it all went, it was if he was preparing to hibernate for the upcoming winter. Flinging open the front door, I was gracefully greeted with the gentle neighs of the horse before me, his reigns being knotted into the railing of the front porch as his grey eyes dilated at the mere sight of me. Strolling over to him, I caressed his silky yet lengthy mane. “ Oh Chips, you’re the only man for me” I subconsciously laughed at my jest, whilst cooing to the thoroughbred; Jesse always complained at the more attention I gave to Chips, to which I would sarcastically reply with, ‘ at least Chips reacts when I touch him.’ He never replied back, but then again when did he ever.

Learning to hunt was a skill I immediately knew I had to acquire, living in an urban area meant I couldn’t go down an alley and suddenly be surrounded by looming trees, the only rabbits I ever saw were the ones served on a plate to me and even then I didn’t have them very often. Riding further into the woods, the glimpse of a resting doe caught my attention; drawing the bows’s drawstring towards my face with three fingers in a upright position, I emptied the oxygen in my lungs with a great sigh and let the go. Poor thing, didn’t even sense it.

Riding back, I was unmindful to the time I had spent in those woods, the sun was hastily cowering away, waiting for the moon to rise from the earth. Men atop their horses trotted past me as the bird feather sown into my hat lightly glided across my eyebrow. In situations like this, riding alone, I would think too deeply; any further and I’d be underground. Chip’s movements slowed until I no longer heard his hooves against the coarse grass. I lifted my head to look upon the ‘home’ I had woefully become accustomed too, in my opinion it resembled more of a shack. I hitched Chips to the wooden poles of the porch before a sudden noise flowed to my ears, heavy footsteps. Jesse stood at the door, a surprised yet pissed off look in his eyes and a cluster of money peeking out of his pockets, he attempted to deceive me by covering his sides, _too late my dear_. “ Going out” Really, I thought you were going to walk from here to New York. “ Where too this time?” He lost patience with me quickly and began to walk past me, still not giving the answer I already knew. Jesse had created some distance between us before I threw my hands up and spoke back. “ I bring in the money in this house and you take it out so I have the damn right to know where you spend it. Alcohol? Bets? Or perhaps a whore of your choice?” This prompted the man to retort with the exact amount of frustration. “ It’s none of your god damn business woman!” Jesse plunged further into the overbearing trees, the path into town was nearby so the bright lights would eventually entrance him to come closer. The deer on Chip’s back was dragged back into the house where I attempted to dissect the meat into eatable pieces for a stew without creating a bloody catastrophe.

A few hours had passed before I began to pace the porch, the weight of guilt began to grow heavier in my stomach, I felt terrible for the taunts I’d thrown at Jesse and hoped that he would return soon. Where is he now? What if he can’t find his way home? Rushing onto Chip’s back I cracked the reigns and he broke into a hurried pace. Warm colours glowed in the distance as the town came into view. Burnstown was the crumbs of an eaten cake, left behind and unwanted by the rest of society. There was no consistency in their methods, one moment they’re begging for my help and then five minutes they’re telling me to go back from where I’ve come from. In rare moments, I missed the noise that polluted the air in Birmingham, the sounds of carriages dancing across the stone roads and the shouts of disgruntled workers. Trotting into the main road, my attention was immediately caught by the out of tuned piano and the cheers of both men and women. I couldn’t just waltz into the bar, making a scene wasn’t a skill I needed for my job and it wasn’t a habit I was going to gain at the moment.

I leaned forward in my saddle and urged Chips to walk a few steps forward so I could see inside the bar. There he was, Jesse was safe an- _wait_ , _who was that on top of him_ ; for god’s sake why did I not see that this would happen, my eyes stayed on his features, his smile that hadn’t been directed to me in months and his cheeks that would rise and shine as bright as the lights around him. I continued to watch whether in anger or awe, I didn’t know, even as the woman draped across dragged him upstairs, I still stared at my brights eyes until he disappeared from my view. “ Que pinchazo”

“ Vamos amor, there’s no place for us here.” My eyes began to drift around as Chip’s walked at his own pace. The window of the few shops were covered by long curtains to deter criminals from trying to find what was behind them, preventing crime was a ever present job for the people of the town, the crime rate continued to rise like a fire in an silent forest. My aid was worthless, I never worked for free and I never wasted my time on a lost cause. The sheriff’s office was still somehow active at this time of night, the men inside twiddled their thumbs most likely waiting for someone to burst in with a need for assistance. Ironically, the sheriff was next door to the bar; one for the beginning of the night, another for a troublesome end. A notice board was placed next to the door, a poster had been pierced onto the other many notices, I was hooked once I saw the bold printed letters of‘ **WANTED** ’. Hitching Chips, I strolled past the window and tipped my hat to the gentlemen inside; the poster in front of me was still vibrant with fresh ink. ‘ Mateo Jessen, known member of the Denvers Gang, $ 100 reward, last known location: the Sherry forests’ In the middle of the sea of information, there was an illustration of the man but I didn’t linger on his face before I highlighted his identifiable features for example the prominent yet small scar on his left cheek. After folding the poster into my saddle bag, a voice rang out to me from the inside the sheriff’s office. “ If you’re looking for Jessen, you’re gonna have a difficult time sweetheart, he’s always in the Sherries but he’s quick with a bow I’ll give him that.” I hopped on to Chip’s back and caressed his mane. “ Well, I guess I’ll just have to quicker. Don't worry, lads, you’ll have a new one for the cells before the morning starts.” With the glow of the moon accompanying me as well as the sense of adrenaline starting to spark in my stomach, I marched into the forest.


	2. An Unfortunate Situation

At no point in the four years that I’ve been in this vast wasteland of a county was I told that the Sherry forest was larger than I could ever imagine, though the sheriff was concerned I’d get killed, I’m more cornered that I’ll never find him. I made the wrong decision by venturing into the woods at nighttime because of course no-one is hunting at this time of night especially in the Sherries, they had the reputation of inhibiting many bears, I didn’t have the pleasure of being surrounded by bears all my life but I did become quite acquainted when I saw the damaged they could do to one man’s arm. My body felt deprived of energy, I kept rubbing my eyes to keep myself awake but it did nothing to give any assistance as well as that Chips had been blindly trotting through unknown territory, I could sense his distress by the way his neighs became more aggressive when I would urged him to press onwards. As for Jesse, he hadn’t crossed my mind until I began to feel the hopelessness bubble through my body; the sole reason I had taken on the task so adamantly was so I could distract myself from Jesse and his disloyal actions. In a period of our lives together he had promised that we would get married and start a family, I was ecstatic for that possibility but at some point we had reached our peek and came crashing down, the money I got wasn’t as high as it used to be and I had to make the choice of who would get the larger portion of my money after every bounty, Jesse or my family, obviously my choice was taken lightly by some people. 

When the sun had risen and the birds began to chirp their cry’s of joy, I eventually found a possible lead. There was a trial of footprints that led further into the forest, they were large and deep; from my perspective they appeared to of been recently made. I battled with the choice, I could follow the trail and be greeted with Jessen or I could follow it and find myself in front of a stranger that wasn’t kind to those who followed him. I took my chance and slid off Chip’s back, after sitting on a horse for five hours my legs felt weak and numb once they began to hold my body again; I went inside my saddle bag and rummaged through my items before I pulled out the revolver I frequently used and stuffed into the inner pocket of my jacket and subsequently hiding it. I ruffled Chip’s mane as I looked into his green eyes, trying to put more emphasis and importance in my words. “ Alright I want you to follow the trail until you find somebody…don’t worry I’ll be right behind you, you got it boy?” Chips made no noise or movement that convinced me that he had heard my words but either way I shooed him off and he broke out into a canter. I followed the horse from a great distance, some time had passed before I no longer heard his crushing hooves, in the distance I saw the outline of both Chips and a figure who was feeding him. I submerged my fingers into the mud beneath me and dragged my fingers over the bottom portion of my face, only for dramatic effect and ran towards them. As I came closer, I began to shout out and it immediately caught the attention of the man who tensed up and reached behind his back. “ Chips! Chips! My goodness, I’ve been looking for you all over the forest.” I spoke with a formal tone, one I had learnt whilst running through the streets of the upper class. I faced the man next to me who had since relaxed once he saw my worried and exhausted expression. “ Thank you, sir, I’m Victoria Peters by the way.” The man turned towards me and within seconds my mood was lifted, at the bottom of his jaw on his left cheek was a defined scar, his light brown skin contrasted with the harsh white outline of the scar. His lips shifted in an awkward yet sensible manner, most likely unsure of his response. “ Percy Marvin, a pleasure to meet you.” “Thank you again for looking after my Chips, you see I was just taking in the scenery when suddenly he gets spooked and I land on my face, oh I do feel so poked up.” He raised an eyebrow at my uncommon phrase as I moved towards Chips. “ Before I turn into a church bell and tell you my entire life story, might I ask for your help once more. You see I need your help with something only a man like yourself could do.” I looked over shoulder and started to reach for my gun, fortunately from the angle and position of my body, he wouldn’t be able to see my movements. “ Anything for a woman as pretty as yourself.” He threaded his fingers through his mid-length hair before he stopped midway once he saw the barrel of my revolver pointed between his eyes. “ Sorry Mr Jessen but you’ve just shot yourself in the foot by making acquaintances with a stranger, you know, you should be careful with who you talk too you never know who they might be and what they’re capable of. Now turn around and this can get done quicker.” 

Tying him up was an easy task for me as I had done it many times previously but my downfall was somehow getting them onto Chip’s back without falling over and ruining my fearful presence. Jessen wasn’t a large man, he was skinny however he was taller than myself so I had push my body past its limits as well as use what little remaining energy I had left without collapsing to the floor in exhaustion. Once the situation was solved I began to ride back, with my bounty a few metres behind me. Soon enough, the man behind me perked up. “ Look, darling, just let me go and we can both forget this ever happened, I’ll pay.” I smirked at his comments and lifted my head. “ Mr Jessen, you were just hunting which means you ain’t carrying anything essential, only your weapons. This means you haven’t got more than $100 in those pockets of yours, so you can’t pay me more than the price on your head. Don’t worry though, you’ll forget all about this when you’re hanging from a noose.” I heard his slight laughter and carried on until I saw a group of horses heading in our direction. The men atop the horses didn’t look familiar until it slapped me in the face. I yanked on Chip’s reigns and he stopped, I pulled out the repeater from his side and jumped off. At the same time I pulled Jessen off as well to stop him from getting any ideas about running off. I dragged him behind a fallen tree beside the path and waited; Jessen was facing me on his side and tried to nod towards the group of men who were fast approaching. “ Just so you know, they ain’t mine.” With my back against the tree and the repeater against my chest, I took off my hat and placed it on his head. “ Yeah I know because they’re the Richards family , a bunch of bounty hunters who just don’t know when they’re put out of business.” Then I heard the grunts of the men, I aimed my repeater at them but didn’t fire, just yet; The Richards were always know for having some sort of speech before they took up any bounty so I let them make their grand appearance. “ Martha, you piece of Irish trash, give us Mateo right now and we might let you live.” I furrowed my brows at his comments and kept my gun trained at his chest. “ Donald, you inbred killer, I’m British for gods sake, next time you’re in a class about geography maybe listen instead of counting your eight fingers.” All of them stopped and looked down at their hands to count their fingers. “ Also, I aint giving you Jessen so…vuelve a tu cueva.” I didn’t let them react before I shot Donald in his chest, his body falling to the ground as his horse became spooked and ran off, now the fighting had broken out. 

“ You’ve gotta let me help you, just cut me free and I promise you I won’t run away.” The men had been cut down like trees and eventually there was only three left, the problem was that I was dangerously low on ammo and was unsure if I’d be able to make it out alive. “ Alright, say I let you go what happens after that, you’re just going to happily jump back into ropes on the back of a horse.” A bullet whizzed past my head and for a few moments all I could heard was the ringing of a bell, Jessen saw this and shuffled closer towards me, a plead in his eyes. “ We’ll deal with that problem once we’re finished with this one.” What choice did I have ? I cut him free and immediately he rose up from the cover and pulled out a revolver from his pocket, how did I miss that ? After a few shots there was only one left, Jesse moved to get closer to the man but was distracted as he tried to re-load his gun at the same time; the man lifted his rifle towards him. At that moment, I wasn’t questioning my actions like I had done so many times before, I just ran towards Jessen and pulled him to the ground with me. I felt the bullet before I reached the mud. 

Through a dazed and almost confused state, I reached my arm up to touch my shoulder, for some reason it felt like it was being engulfed in flames. Blood, blood was spread on my hand as if it were paint. I lifted up my jacket, dismissing the hole that had been created and saw how there was a small bullet buried within the side of my shoulder, it hadn’t passed through, I could clearly see it contrasting against the sprouting blood. I attempted to put pressure on but felt weak and unable to move. “ Shit! Shit! Ummm… Sorry darling but this is your problem, not mine.” I looked up and saw Jessen, his face in disarray as he questioned what options he had. I couldn’t move, I reached out for him to help me but felt nothing, only the distant noise of the hooves of a horse. I brought my bloody fingers up to my mouth to whistle for Chip’s… silence, the bastard had left me for dead and took my horse. Puddles of blood trickled down both my chest and arm, my breathing began to grow more shallow as black spilled into my vision like a growing lake. Eventually my conscience was brought back to me once I heard deep shouts, the noises were muffled to my ears but they was range of voices, some being higher pitched than others, I could feel my body being slung over something as my hands and legs dangled whilst my body was supported by something that kept slightly shifting it’s position every so often, possibly a horse. “ Please… Help…” I croaked out into the air, I kept trying to keep my eyes open but eventually the cover of darkness swarmed me once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, it took very little time to write but I'm glad I'm able to write my own stuff so except more. In the next chapter, there will possibly be a lot of new characters so I'll spread it out.


	3. An Unseen Fate

“- she did save Mateo’s life, did she not ?”

“ Yeah but she was also trying to put him in a jail cell for a few bucks”

The sounds of different voices began to wade through my ears as I roused myself from the coma- like state I distinctly remember falling into, I assumed I was in some sort of a tent as I could distantly hear birds chirping and a small breeze was dancing along the tips of my toes that were weighed down by a woollen blanket. I opened my eyes but saw only darkness, I tilted my head down to see the corner of a bandanna as well as the blanket that lay across my chest, I had been blindfolded which meant only one thing, who ever lives here doesn’t want to be found. A fearful cry desperately crawled through my throat once I felt a needle dive into my shoulder which still felt like it was consumed in flames. The voices stopped and the shuffling of feet became more clearer to my ears. “ Please, Miss Denise, do be careful with our guest now, she’s still clearly in a lot of pain.” The voice was deep and obviously the man was a southerner from how rough his accent was, a feminine voice beside me apologised before slipping away from the tent. “ Now, Miss Martha, we know you’re a bounty hunter who was trying to get one of my associates, will you deny that?” They were asking a rhetorical question, they wanted to see if I would plead for mercy and attempt to convince them I was nobody but they knew the answer so I stayed silent. “ We also know that you saved him and ultimately got shot in the shoulder for it and now you’re here so let me ask you this, what were going to do after you finished that little conflict you had with the other bounty hunters?” I had an opportunity to show I wasn’t a person who could be easily tricked and I eagerly took it “ Well I’m only to give you wrong answers, if I tell you that I was going to let him go, you’ll know I was lying to gain your trust but if I tell you that I was still going to turn me in you’re going to just kill me to save yourself because if I’m guessing right the reason I’ve got a blindfold on is because you don’t want me to run off and tell the sheriff where a criminal gang is.” The man laughed as I smugly smiled to myself. “ Clever girl… well me and the boys are going to let you rest up whilst my other associates keep an eye on yah.” Boots started to move against the grass before another deep voice erupted. “ But, sir, what about afterwards?” “ Well she might not even reach an afterwards if that wound of her’s get infected, we’ll wait and see.” I could only imagine the endless possibilities as I heard the men disperse from my tent that I was now confined too.

Time became an unnecessary part of my days, I no longer knew whether the sun had rose or the moon had fallen from the sky, all I could see was a never ending vision of black. The food that slid down my throat felt as if it was going to come back up seconds later, the pungent smell closely resembled a blend of poison and a rotting body but I still forced it into my stomach. Company was always present in my tent, the woman who had ‘ accidentally’ impaled me with a needle was beside me at all times, everyday she was there to clean and check my wounds for any evidence of infection or healing; she was in a way kind to me, she attempted to make conversation with me for a few days, sometimes I replied but more often I would make a slight noise and end the discussion. However the other company was less pleasant for me, I could hear his fingers grasp tightly against the rifle in his hand every so often; I knew virtually nothing about him, only that he could speak Spanish but so I could so I couldn’t make any conclusion about the man.

“Do you make an exception for anyone? Never take on a certain bounty?” My wound was being wrapped again in clean bandages when the man abruptly spoke. “ Ladies, they never commit a crime because they want control or want to gain power over others, they always have a personal reason; the only thing I can do is turn a blind eye. I only do take on a female bounty if they do murder.” Silence loomed in the atmosphere before a voice perked up. “ Suppose you ain’t a big fan of murderers then ?” Her tone was innocent and gentle as she began to unknowingly tread into dangerous waters. “ No, smuggling, that’s nothing to me, theft, they somehow never cover their tracks and get caught… _murder though_ , creates a ripple of greater effects.” Hearing a chair scrape along the ground to come closer, I shifted against the bed so my back became more straighter. “ Might I ask why you have such a hatred for murder ?” I held onto my arms, my nails digging into my skin, leaving crescent shapes behind. “ Lost somebody close to me back in England, bit of a minor reason I came here, to forget.” I couldn’t register the words that had just been spilled from my lips before the man voiced his opinion in an amused voice. “ Hold on, you say you don’t like killers but you yourself have killed before, no ?” The woman tried to scold him for his words before I replied to his comments. “ I have killed people _who deserved to die_ , scoundrels that only care for themselves, not innocent lads who accidentally wandered into the wrong alley a- my point is I don’t kill because I want to, I do it when I have no other option.”

One afternoon, I believe, a bustle of footsteps and voices could be heard coming closer and those in the tent promptly left without a second to regard me, I didn’t know how long I had been trapped in this tent for, _maybe a week or two?_ Uncertainty buzzed through the tips of my fingers as the flap of the tent was moved aside and bodies shuffled inside. “ Miss Martha, seems to me you’ve healed quite well over this period of time, but now our hospitality has ended and you must now stand trial.” This tone he used was the opposite to the one I had received when I first arrived, I needed to remind myself that I was dealing with criminals, not lawful men. “ What do you mean by trial?” Hearing the man clasp his hands together, I could feel the droplets of sweat trickle down my cheek. “ We are a community and as a community we all have to share our ideas and opinions and tomorrow morning we’re gonna figure out what we’re gonna do with you.” I couldn’t voice my opinion as they had left as quickly as they had entered. I didn’t hear the sounds of anyone entering again, I was alone and for the first time in quite awhile I truly felt frightened, I needed to leave.

I waited and waited; once I heard the distant chatter of the others die down and the owls perched on the highest branch began to make noise, I tugged on the bandana tightly wrapped around my head until my vision was finally restored. I took careful steps out of the bed and to the edge of the tent where I could peak out and see my surroundings, a dying fire caught my eye in the distance but there was nothing else in my view. I began to glide across the grass in a crouched position, I didn’t want to create loud noises that would attract everyone’s attention; I headed for the trees where I could hear the neighs of many horses, if I could simply steal one my journey would be a lot more easier. In the centre of where the horses had been hitched to the trees was a familiar shire horse, his white legs blended with his dark body, the black silky mane swayed with the movement of the wind. “ Chips!” I whispered with joy sprouting through. “ You little traitor, letting Jessen ride you, after all we’ve been through but I might forgive you as long as we can both come away from this, alive.” I tousled his mane as I leaped on his saddle and led him into a slow pace, still aware that Chip’s hooves could create a massive attraction. Now that I was safe I needed to think of a plan, I couldn’t go straight home and pretend I hadn’t just been taken to a gang camp but if I go to the sheriff without a bounty will they believe a woman with nothing to offer. “ I knew I was right when I told Archibald someone needed to keep an eye on yah, tenía qui suceder.” I stilled in the saddle and my breathing became rapid. I looked to my side to see a lantern being held in the air, the man holding it had a rifle slung over his shoulder and a smug smile was painted onto his tanned skin. His inky hair tumbled past his shoulders and his brown eyes became more radiant against the flame of the lantern. “ What-what are you gonna do?” I had nothing to protect myself with, there was nothing I could use, only my words. “ I’m gonna try and convince you to go back to camp.” I was startled by his answer, I expected at least some sort of threat. “ Look, if you run now and they find out, you’re going to spend the rest of your days afraid that we are watching your every move waiting for the moment to strike plus you’ve seen my face which will make you an even bigger target. If you run to the law they’ll come here and find nothing because we would of already left and you’ll look like an tonta to everyone meaning you’ll be less trusted. But if you stay, they’ll know you were trustworthy enough to stay in a unguarded tent when the chance of freedom was dangling right in front of you.” His eyes were locked to mine, I felt overwhelmed with the choices I could make. “ But they’ll kill me.” I let out a choked sob and covered my mouth, my fate had been made the moment I was taken into their territory I was a gazelle to those lions. “ Like you said, they’ll only kill if they don’t have options, so give them options, go back to your family, give up your job… join the gang.” The thought of becoming the type of person I had hunted for years amused me, l couldn’t imagine both the freedom and restriction that would come with that life. “ Will you tell them what I’ve done tomorrow ?” “ No, I’ll do everything I can to keep them from tilting towards the idea of death, it’s my way of thanking you for saving Mateo.” I turned Chips around and headed back into the camp I had been desperate to escape only moments ago. When I peered over my shoulder, I could no longer see the man, only the faint glow of a lantern. I hitched Chips back into the position I had found him and retreated back into the tent, tying the bandana around my head before I feel into a slumber.

I awoke the next morning once I felt two sets of calloused hand gripped onto my arms and drag me from the bed, they hauled me onto the grass and I could hear the groups of voices in front of me, the men that had dragged me here kept their hands wrapped around my wrists to stop my movement. The murmurs ceased once a much blaring voice dominated them. “ We are here today to decide what we should do with Miss Martha, please now put forward your ideas.” Immediately there a clash of ideas and voices, “Kill the girl, who cares if she saved little boy Mateo !”, “ She’s doing her job, ain’t we all.”, “ She knows too much, she’s probably working for the government.” I felt a breath brush against my neck, a voice carefully placed near my ear. “ Don’t worry, once they get tired of shouting I’ll plead your case.” The man from the forest had kept his word and a seed of hope began to rise in my stomach. “ If I may sir, I believe she could be a great addition to the gang if you would consider letting her join.” The fight for a more roaring voice halted at the man’s suggestion followed by a burst of laughter. The man in front of me sounded intrigued whilst he spoke, the others around him on the edge of dying from laughter. “ Continue Miguel, why do you think this? What can she offer us ?” I felt the man beside shift on his feet, ready to continue with his fight. “ We are notorious for being hidden and not being caught by any law men and yet this woman caught one of our quickest shots in the deepest part of a forest that most of us are afraid to even step into. From what Mateo’s told me she’s a pretty good shot. She’s going to be treated differently cause of her accent and it’d be a good distraction for any jobs; I think she’d be an asset for us all.” The previous laughter had turned into frustration. “ Really, is that all you’ve got ? Archibald you can’t trust a word that slippery little greaser is saying, she's just trouble, I’m telling yah.” The man ‘ Archibald’ hushed the man and silence followed, he clearly was in deep thought. “ Miss Martha, if you perhaps say wanted to join this gang, you do know that any connections to your life here would be cut off, you wouldn’t be able to all of sudden leave and settle down in Chicago; you’d be in this life for good, having to now think about thirteen other people, not just yourself. Could you take that risk of never being truly safe ever again?” This idea had been presented to me once again, I had to think about the life I had been living for four years, the only thing that had kept me going wasn’t the constant need to buy food for survival, not the man who hadn’t loved me for years but my family on the other side of the world that needed my help to survive, I have sacrificed everything for them and I will continue too until my final breath but for this short moment in my life I wanted to make a choice for myself. “ If say perhaps I could join the gang, I’d accept the risks and make sure that everyone went to sleep exactly the same way they’d waken up…safe.” Archibald chuckled whilst those around him tried to convince him to make any other choice. “I expect great things from you sweetheart, Miguel seems to be very confident with your skills and I hope he’s telling me the truth. I know that everyone here will treat you with respect. Welcome to the gang, Martha…Now will someone take the bandana off the girl’s eyes.” I felt the cover around my eyes loosen until it fell to the ground and I took my first glance at the people I would now be surrounded by for the rest of my life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite proud of this chapter and I hope you can enjoy it as well, I imagine that the next chapter will be long as I'll have to describe and introduce thirteen new characters. See you soon ! 
> 
> "Tenía qui suceder" = It was bound to happen   
> "Tonta" = Fool


	4. An Overdue Decision

In front of me lay a muddled mix of facial expressions but none of them showed their excitement of having a bounty hunter being allowed into _their_ gang; they all shared either a scowl or a quirked up eyebrow. Half of the people wanted to kill me and the other half were too unsure to keep me alive, I could feel myself sinking into the ground under their enraged gaze. I presumed the man who stood a few inches higher than everyone was ‘Archibald’, the man who had offered me a new approach at life. His hair was mostly grey, a faint brown colour lay at his roots, it matched the moustache that was barely visible due to it’s size. He wore a forest green waistcoat with faded gold details that stood out amongst the blend of dirtygrey clothing that the others around him wore. He stepped forward and out stretched his hand to me “ Allow me to properly introduce myself, Archibald Denvers.” I grasped his hand with a sense of gratitude. “ Martha Hastings.” At Archibald’s gesture, the other members began to walk off in different directions, each returning to their previous morning duties. Archibald rested his hands behind his back and tilted his head towards the man beside me. “ Miguel, would you take Martha back to her tent and give her the run down of how our family works, take it slow though, don’t want to frighten the woman. Now if you’ll excuse me I have things to attend too.” His formality seemed like an act, possibly a facade to hide something I couldn’t know. I turned to face ‘ Miguel’, the man who had presented my freedom on a silver plate, without a word his took my hand and yanked me toward the tent that had become a makeshift prison, the corners of his mouth was slightly lifted giving the impression that he was eager, his rough fingers felt like searing flames against my skin as we entered the tent; I sat at the foot of my bed whilst Miguel leaned against one of the poles that kept the tent upright and gestured to himself. “ Miguel Martinez Rodriguez, now this might take awhile but I’ll keep it as simplified as possible.”

Miguel proceeded to describe himself and how his mother was Spanish and had died at childbirth and his father was Mexican and more importantly a drunk who left him to wander the streets at fifteen, he explained how he was brought into the life he had been living for fourteen years, Archibald had caught Miguel trying to steal from him and instead of sending him to the gallows he offered him a life with sustainability where he learnt English and more importantly how to commit crimes. As the man was proclaiming his tale I could see his eyes brighten at the moments his life changed, he appeared to see Archibald as a savour, almost like a messiah. “ Archibald es el líder of us all, he’s the one who gave us a second chance at life so we it owe to him to be respectful and obedient. Now that you’re one of us you’ve got to act the same exact way as the rest of us, got it ?” Miguel’s demeanour changed drastically, his eyes narrowed and his body leaned forward as his arms stayed crossed. I nodded, I understood that in the eyes of many I was just a bounty hunter and I could do nothing to change their perspective but by following their rules I could stop the tension that was always crawling up my back. Afterwards Miguel began describing a few other members like Owen Wordsworth and his wife Emily as well as their son Tim, Owen had a rivalry with another member, Alexander Price , they were both trusted by Archibald and were always there to discuss any future plans, both men had qualities that was useful and unreliable, they constantly argued, each trying to gain Archibald’s favour first.

At some point, a petite woman slid into the tent where she offered both me and Miguel a bowl of stew, the chunks of carrots sticking out like shards of glass and pieces of meat peeking through the brown substance; the woman wore a cat like grin on her face as she left, Miguel spooned the food into his mouth as he spoke whilst I eyed the tainted liquid, questioning whether I would allow myself to constantly eat their idea of food. “ That was Nancy, you might know her as the lady that was always next to you, never stopped talking that one but you wouldn’t budge when she asked a question.” I forcefully gulped down the food until a few specks where left. “ ‘Nancy is…nice pero ingenua. She’s a good kid that got dealt a bad hand by the world, she’s the furthest thing from a criminal. Archibald found her alone and was covered in burns, he took her back and nobody asked any questions.” Nancy’s incessant nature to constantly talk most likely was fuelled by the need to talk to others, possibly because she’s seen as a lost cause, a member without any purpose by those she considers family.

Eventually, the bombardment of information had ended, I learnt about the very lethargic trio of Kathy Cook, who had previously worked at a brothel and murdered a customer, Clyde Buttons and Nathaniel Strout, Clyde being seen more as a comedic relief from their problems in Miguel’s eyes and Nathaniel having the same level of intelligence as an ape. However to contrast the savage behaviour of the trio was a collective group of the opposite nature, Jeremiah Parkson was a quiet gentleman who was used to gather information and gave the gang their reputation for being always concealed; Mateo, who was yet present himself to me after leaving me to bleed out, and James Robertson were responsible for supplying resources to the camp for example food and wood. When Miguel pulled back the entrance of the tent I was no longer greeted with the blend of blue and pink in the sky, only the darkness of the night with the sparkles of stars randomly placed. Miguel turned to me with widened eyes, in disbelief at the massive amount of time that was washed away so quickly. “ Um…I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” I dragged my hands over my face and felt the drain of energy take its toll on me. “ Unless I decided to run away again. Don’t worry I’ll be here.” He laughed and walked away, leaving me to blow away the flame of the lantern that was placed on top of a decaying trunk. I pulled off my boots and placed them next to my bed, I could still hear Miguel’s raspy and entrancing voice as he told tales of his fellow friends as I gradually fell into a thick slumber.

Rays of the morning sun were peeking through the opening of the tent and landing on my face, eventually it became uncomfortable and I woke up; I pulled back the covers and looked down at my clothes, I had been wearing the same articles of clothing for ten days, my blouse shirt was drenched in both dried blood and mud, the hole in my beloved jacket had been poorly stitched but I could do nothing to fix it, I had to return to the place that I once called home otherwise my belongings would be sold for drinking money by Jesse. Cautiously stepping outside my tent, my attention was immediately caught by the two chatting women who huddled around the smouldering fire, Nancy waved and shouted her greetings, the woman beside her chastising her for being improper; I could tell from her straight posture and stern face that she was Emily, ‘ the pristine wife who keeps everyone in check’ as Miguel had described, her tight bun not having a single strand of hair out of place. I nodded to them both, in order to make a good impression, and began to stroll the outskirts of the camp hoping to find Miguel.

I stopped my movement once a familiar face began to tread towards me with a dead rabbit slung over his shoulder, his eyes were locked to the ground, making him unbeknownst to my presence. “ Well, Jessen, I’m glad to see you after you left me to die in the mud and took Chips but I suppose I’ll have to forgive and forget, seeing as we are family now.” The man’s face dropped as he lifted his head, his eyes filled with anxiety as he vigorously rubbed the nape of his neck. “ Yeah…lets just forget about the past and carry on, I’ll see you later Mar-“ his eyes once again fell to the floor and he tried to inconspicuously leave the tense encounter, I held my arm out and stopped him from walking any further, the sweat starting to form on his features. “ Hold on, Jessen, I didn’t stop you just throw a cat amongst the pigeons, I wanna know if you’ve seen Miguel around.” Relief seemed to wash over Jessen, a relieved sigh leaving his lips. “ Should be somewhere around here, why? Do you need help, I’m sure whatever Miguel can do I could do it better.” I scoffed at his comments, the last time I used his help, I got shot for my mistakes. “ Look, I don’t need you or your hunting skills and besides it’s none of damn business. We may be family but you seem to forget I’m still a bounty hunter, so don’t push it.”

After walking away with a grin etched onto my face, I strolled further into the woods where members would take turns patrolling the outskirts in order to prevent strangers from entering, minutes passed before I crossed paths with Miguel who was practically dragging himself back to camp, the deep circles underneath his eyes implied his exhaustion but still I ventured towards him. “ Miguel, I just wanted to ask if you’d like to join me on a ride, I need to get my belongings from my house and I ain’t quite sure what might be waiting for me when I get there.” Miguel stretched his arms out and nodded. Minuets later, we had both left camp atop our horses and trotted in comfortable silence until Miguel gave me a look of perplexity. “ You know I’ve told you a lot about me and the gang but how come you haven’t said anything about yourself ?” I pulled on Chip’s reigns slightly so that he walked at the identical pace of Miguel’s horse and therefore I could talk to the man more clearly than shouting over my shoulder. “ Cause I don’t get chucked into a criminal gang every so often…I don’t have many people around me, the man I thought loved me always preferred the atmosphere of a bar, my family aren’t here to help me and the only other company I’ve got are the criminals screaming for mercy.” I searched Miguel’s face for any indication about his feelings but found nothing, only my own reflection being reflected in his rich brown eyes, I carried on. “ I- I ain’t got a sob story about how my family died and I need revenge, I just know that I’d rather be doing this than cleaning the bottom of a factory machine. Plus whenever has revenge been a good idea.” Miguel let a laugh pass through his lips as we carried on our path until we eventually halted and a desolate house lay in front of me.

I allowed the breeze to wade through my hair as I hitched Chips and listened for noise from inside the house, nothing but the leaves being destroyed underneath my foot as I inched closer to the house, Miguel only a few steps behind with his rifle in hand. Fortunately I had plucked my revolver from my saddle bag before entering and held it a in a deadly grip as I pushed open the door to the bedroom with the barrel of the revolver. Jesse wasn’t here. The unmade bed and pair of stockings tossed onto the floor caused a way of nausea to pass through me. I pushed past the vile thoughts of Jesse and pulled open my drawers, quickly replacing my stained shirt and collecting random clothing into my arms where I ran outside and stuffed it into my saddle bag. Miguel kept his eyes trained at the window outside as I entered the living room to retrieve my remaining possessions. “ The man you thought loved you, he’s one the you thought would be waiting here for you… I can tell you’re afraid of him and if you need someone to kill him, soy tu hombre.” I turned to him in shock but only found a smile leisurely growing on his face. “I’ll keep that in mind… oh, there should be food around here so whatever you can find you can take it and give it to the camp, that is if that trasgo hasn’t eaten it all, I’m just going to get my belongings, there’s not a lot though, I swear.”I reached into the cupboards above me and shifted away the food to show the pile of letters from my family, a great sigh left my lungs as I grabbed them and poured the many bottles of alcohol spread across the house onto the wooden planks until the trial ended on the porch. I took my final glance at the house that would always be a reminder of my unspeakable decisions. Once outside, I saw Miguel putting away his rifle and leaning against his horse, he gestured to the letters in my hand. “ You really don’t have a lot, do you?” I shrugged my shoulders as I strode to Chips and traded the letters in my hand for matches, I had always questioned to the reason why I had kept them within my saddle bag for many years but now they had a purpose. “Small and minimal that’s how I live, how I’ve always lived actually.” I struck the match multiple times before a flame began to grow and without a second to consider my actions and the greater consequences I tossed the match onto the porch where it collided into the trial of alcohol that had drenched the entire house. Without haste, a cloud of black was rising into the air and vicious flames lashed out like knives ready to inflict fear, the beams began to crumble and sections of the roof came crashing down; I felt numb to the flames as I climbed onto Chips’ back and soothed the horse, patting his neck as I smirked to the bewildered man next to me. “Now no one can return here.”Miguel ran his fingers through his hair as he contained the laughter that was threatening to spill out. “You, quierda, have just committed _arson_ and now that makes you a _wanted criminal_.” The emphasis on ‘ criminal’ and ‘arson’ had no great effect on me, it was as if I hadn’t heard at all as we both made our journey back to the gang to contribute our findings. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you there was too much information at once but the characters will all make their appearance again, some more than others. Hopefully you've enjoyed the story so far. 
> 
> " es el líder " = is the leader  
> " pero ingenua " = but naive  
> " soy tu hombre " = I'm your man  
> " trasgo " = troll  
> " quierda "= my dear


	5. The Price for Trust

Just as a I anticipated my good deeds were seen as unwarranted and reckless actions, they looked passed the bundle of resources overflowing in both mine and Miguel’s arms and could only scold me at the trial of black smoke that was imprinted into the sky, Archibald made no efforts to defend nor berate me about the situation only closing the flap of his tent and allowing his wolves to tease me like prey. Only a select few showed a slight inclination of gratitude, Nancy collected the few items that had fell from my arms as I carried them to the chest that was used for storage she opened her mouth before being called by Emily, her features falling in defeat. After that monumental yet disastrous night, I began to fix the problems of others instead of just my own, these people still knew nothing about me; I had to show that I had no intention of creating a strain in the group otherwise my only option would be to lie down in my own grave. My time began to be equally distributed to each area of the gang, because of my previous background with hunting I would often go into the Sherry Forests with either James or Mateo to hunt game, on some occasions I would help with the preparation of food with Jeremiah and Nathaniel where every five minuets Nathaniel would exclaim that he had cut himself when in reality he hadn’t, he wasn’t even allowed to come in contact with the knives or anything with a sharp edge. More often than not, I would spend my mornings exerting all my energy into scrubbing away the numerous blood splatters on the men’s shirts with a washing board that was layered with dirt, blood and many unknown substances; Emily and Nancy cleaned the clothes with delicate fingers but if my mother had taught me anything I definitely knew that with hard work came clean shirts. “ How can you be so good at that, I thought your job was to catch criminals not wash their clothes.” Nancy grasped her sore arms as Emily kept her eyes on her task and nothing else not even as her husband walked past to give his greetings. “ I didn’t get the chance very often to wash clothes when lived with Jesse but I never forget the countless steps it would take to wash my families clothes. This is effortless compared to when I would scald and rinsine the clothes three times.” 

I was unaware of how the gang kept their high expectations of secrecy, nothing was known about the gang only small details on those who went out for hunting or passed through towns for a few moments. One afternoon, once the chores had been completed and the food had been devoured, Archibald announced that the gang would be moving to their new location, which he refused to disclose; by always moving the sheriffs wouldn’t be able to find their location especially if they moved to another state, which I learnt they quite frequently did. That evening, all the members began to huddle around the roaring fire and celebrated another successful location, the tales of past adventures being shared with everyone and soon enough the bottles of alcohol began to flow through. Once the slurred profanities began to be tossed around like the shattered bottles around the fire some members started to retreat back to their tents, Emily yanking her son by the arm despite his protest to stay. Welcoming the heat from the fire, I was snuggled between Miguel and Alexander on a log that was bound to snap into pieces, the alcohol taking an immediate effect once it entered my body, it was Jesse’s job to be an alcoholic so I didn’t have the pleasure to drink quite as often. As the night ventured on, the celebrations began to subside and silence started to loom over us all until Archibald tilted his whisky glass towards me. “ Miss Hastings, I feel as if I have been a terrible associate, I never asked where you’re from; my cousin lives in…Plymouth I believe, he writes to me often about the boats that he can see everyday.” Alexander sent a deadly gaze towards me as he shifted further away from me, tapping his knee as he waited for my answer. “ Erm, I come from Birmingham, central England. It’s a piss of a place but it’s home.” For a few moments, the atmosphere lightened at my remark but quickly fell back into silence. 

Feeling a obscure sensation prickling across my knee I peered down to find Miguel’s hand crossing over onto my knee where his fingers softly drifted across the material of my trousers. When I lifted my head once again to discover the man’s intentions, I saw the man with a natural yet affectionate smile; this was different to the mischievous grins we had shared outside the house or the pleading look in his eyes as he convinced me to stay. Perhaps it was the alcohol that had given me a new sense of confidence or the insatiable desire for affection that allowed a blush to be painted across my cheeks, I was knocked from my trance once Kathy spoke out, her words being mostly slurred. “ You know I bet you was a whore back in England, cause you don’t look like the prim and proper type like Miss Emily, I-I bet that no one wanted yah just like now.” Those around her tried to take the bottle from her hand but instead she smashed the bottle and stood up, her stance slouched as she raised her arms at me. “ We don’t like anybody who ain’t our own especially those who don’t long here.” The statement made Miguel tense up, Kathy noticed his reaction and raised her arms up in defence. “ At least Miguel was a criminal when we found him but you-“ I hadn’t moved since she began to speak those thoughts that had been stirring in her mind, all she wanted was a reason to fight but I kept my attention on her half lidded eyes as she kept making her taunts. “You came from nothing and you’ll get nothing so why don’t you _fuck off_ back home!” Kathy spoke as if she knew me and the events I had lived through, I clenched my jaw, unable to keep my silence any longer. “ I don’t know what you’ve just eaten Kathy cause all I can smell is the shit comin’ out of your mouth. Don’t forget now I never had to make the choice of living on the streets or in a brothel.”Kathy launched herself towards me, an abundance of words spilling out before both Miguel and Clyde held her by her arms even as she violently thrashed against them. “ Just go drink somewhere else until you pass out, ok Kathy?” She narrowed her eyes at me as I drank the rest of my drink and rose from my seat, only Kathy’s cries of frustration being echoed as I walked away.

Threading my fingers through Chip’s mane I allowed the calm noises of the horsesto soothe the burning feeling of hatred. I paid no attention to the growing noise ofheavy footsteps, I held no interest for sympathy nor conversation; I felt a hand grasping my shoulder and I looked over my shoulder to face Miguel, a sombre lookfaintly being in his dark eyes. “Martha, I’m sor-“ I faced him and crossed my arms. “ Stop. Kathy may be a drunk but she’s about right about me never being apart of the gang. I could move heaven and earth for this people and they’d still see me as a bloody _bounty hunter.”_ Miguel moved towards me and lowered his voice until it was barley above a whisper. “ Everyone listens to Archibald, they practically copy his every move, if you can gain his trust the sheep will follow.” I grew more confused at his words. “ A few years ago when James joined us he told us that he’d left a gang without telling them and therefore breaking some sort of oath they had so when that gang stormed the camp a few days later a shootout broke out and we barely got out of the camp. The leader, Gabriel Levitt, took Archibald’s mother’s engagement ring when he raided the camp, we know he always wears it from what Jeremiah could find, most likely as a reminder of what happened. So if you get the ring, you get his undying trust.” I contemplated Miguel’s words, if I was to do this task how could I know for certain that the others would follow Archibald’s manner. “ Fine, only because I don’t want to spend another second with Kathy around, where should I head for ?” I climbed onto Chip’s back and unwrapped his reigns that where tied around a tree. “ Go through Burnstown, follow the river uphill and once you reach the top you should be on the outskirts of the camp. Oh and Gabriel’s tent is the one in the middle, apparently the man is obsessed with being the centre of attention.” I matched the smile on Miguel’s face as Chips abruptly began to gallop out of the woods.

Passing through the abundance of trees and the dim glow of the town, I could hear the distant sound of water trickling down the valley and pushed further up the hill, my plan was a muddled mix of options and ideas; I needed some sort of distraction to draw Gabriel from his tent as simply just waltzing into his tent and demanding for a ring that I knew nothing about wouldn’t be successful. Certain outcomes were playing out in my mind, I dismissed them and breathed through my nose, trying to calm my obvious nerves. Eventually after urging Chip’s to push further up the steep hill, we reached even ground and as Miguel had insisted in the distance was a collection of tents that were formed in a circle and a single tent was placed in the middle. Hitching Chips, I delved into my saddle bag to retrieve my esteemed revolver as well as my only right- minded idea, matches. I began to lower my posture as I trekked towards the tents, I fumbled with the matches in my hands, panic beginning to effect my every move. I struck the match repeatably, hearing the rustle of movement in the tent beside me making fear spread through my shaking legs, until a flame sprouted and I questioned my next action. I didn’t want to cause a death over the retrieval of a ring so I placed the match at the base of a tree that was near the tents. At first the flame was unnoticeable and I could barely feel the heat that was being produced until moments later the consistent gust of wind influenced the flame to burn faster and the entire tree was consumed in flames; as I moved away to find an opening I could hear the mixtures of sounds that were mostly of fear and suspicion. I passed through the ring of tents as a group of men were swarmed around the tree, the fire had fallen from the branches and had landed at the edge of a tent and they rushed to help their fellow member as well as collect his belongings before they became a bundle of ash.

Keeping my index finger on top of the trigger of my revolver I proceeded into Gabriel’s tent to find only an empty bed, the covers having been flung to the floor; the tent was surrounded by many delights, with mirrors and shaving tools placed upon a barrel and a collection of vibrant clothes overflowing in the trunk at the end of the bed. With every slight movement of an object, I made sure to rectify my adjustments so that nothing suggested that anyone else had entered the tent; I found nothing amongst the many items the man owned, my distress grew as I heard the hissing sound of a fire being extinguished as well as voices. “Qu’est-ce qui a déclenché cet incendie ?” Of course they had to speak another language, I thought as I reached into numerous places. “Je ne suis pas sûr, assurez-vous que Marcel a un endroit pour dormir."I could feel the crucial seconds being tossed away as my eyes darted around the room to find anything my fingers hadn’t touched; the bed was my last attempt before I would meet whatever fate these men would have for me. I nearly cried out in joy as I lifted the heavy pillow and saw a ring adorned with a diamond in the centre and many designs surrounding it. I dismissed putting the bed into the state I had found it as I crawled under the back of the tent until I could smell the darl smoke that filled the area. “Ma nuit a été gâchée à cause de ces idiots." The man’s voice became fainter as I kept a deadly hold on the ring and raced to find my treasured shire horse. With one hand enclosed around the ring and another gripped around Chip’s reigns I spurred him on to gallop faster, the realisation of my actions causing my fear to be overpowered by adrenaline.

Guiding Chips off the path and into the outskirts of the camp, I felt a string of disappointment as I saw nobody patrolling the woods but I still carried on until Chips was hitched once again, surrounded by the few horses of the other members. When I was within the comfortable surroundings of my tent, I flung off my boots and sat at the end of the bed, releasing my painful grip to show a shining diamond, it sparkled against the flame of a nearby lantern; I could see that on the inside of the slightly discoloured metal band was the engraved words ‘ _My Daisy’._ The ring was still tucked within my hand as the rush of excitement faded and my eyes gradually fell.

Archibald only took a few steps out of his tent before I stood in front of him with his mother’s ring presented to him in my palm. “ I believe this belongs to you sir.” Archibald tried to dull his astonished look as he took the ring and inspected it further watching as it sparkled against the morning light. “ Well, Miss Hastings, I don’t want to question how you acquired this but I am in your debt for what you’ve done for me and my mother. I tried to send Alexander and Owen for it but those idiots wouldn’t of found it even if it hit them.” Together we shared a gentle laugh before he thanked me again and sauntered to his fellow members with the accessory fitted to his ring finger. The rest of the morning was spent packing up everything onto the wagons or onto the limited space of our horse’s backs, when every piece of the once crowded camp was put away there was only a barren patch of grass left and the order to move out was eventually given. As well as my possessions, Nancy had pleaded that she could sit behind me on Chips instead of the stuffy wagon she was always chucked too, I accepted once I saw Emily send a disgraced look towards her. The woman was already on her third topic as we passed through Burnstown and started on our journey to our unknown location.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter so far is one of my favourites because of how it turned out and in the next chapter the gang finally finds their new location. Also if you couldn't tell the language Gabriel and his members spoke was French but I won't translate it as in Martha's perspective she wouldn't know a thing they were saying. Thanks for reading!


	6. With a New home comes New problems

As our journey became more tedious as we continued to venture into unknown territory without a single word of guidance from our leader, everyone was trampled underneath the heavy weight of fear. In the beginning, there was chatter passed between those around and occasionally there was a moment of laughter but soon enough the endless question of where our journey ended became all too tempting for many members; we would ride for hours and would only stop once Archibald deemed it nesscary, I wasn’t present when Mateo asked Archibald the question on everyone mind but I could see the answer Archibald had given as Nancy tried to soothe the marks on his face. The agitation began to effect everyone in different ways. I became senseless to the sight of the wildlife around me, they all muddled into one group of animals that were killed on sight as food, even Nancy had silenced herself as she struggled to find a comfortable position behind me, Miguel didn’t make himself present very much so the opportunity to speak with him never arose on our travels. On the fourth day, we passed through a town that had more knowledge of the modern privileges than Burnstown, the gas lamps brightened the cobbled stone streets, Archibald had smirked as he spoke. “ The town of Casidence will most surely provide us with many opportunities.” Passing through the town, the sound of crickets was all that could be heard as they bounced around the sandy shore of the lake that was parallel to the path that we were instructed to follow. We diverted off the trial into a patch of grass where a few trees lingered and eventually Archibald raised his hand to stop us all and jumped from his horse with his arms outstretched. “ My friends, we have reached our destination and I thank you all for the patience and trust you have bestowed to me.” Without haste, they removed themselves from either the stiff saddles of their horses or the limited space of the wagons and relished in the feeling of movement in their legs.

The talkative attitude that was lost along our journey sprouted once more in the new environment, both Alexander and Emily embraced in content as they watched their young child adjusting to the new scenery around him, Clyde and Nathaniel proclaimed their sly remarks to Kathy as she nursed the bottle in her hands and Nancy batted her eyelashes to James whilst he struggled immensely to set up her tent, which she demanded was to be next to mine. Jeremiah brought my chest down as well as a metal bed frame from the wagon and offered his help with putting up my tent which I quickly accepted, since I had retrieved Archibald’s ring whatever the grudge or urge to cause me harm that the others had was extinct, though Kathy showed her disinterest quite often, she kept her distance. Once finished, I unraveled the sleeping mat from my saddle and laid it across the frame, I pulled out the few items from my family that I had and decorated them around the tent, placing them upon the unused crates I could find in the wagon. Without takinga moment to look outside and breathe in the air of our home or without asking the others their initial thoughts about the place, I collapsed against the bed and blissfully let the feeling of sleep wash over me.

On the first day of our new location, a meeting was called for all members and it’s purpose was not specified; I reached into my chest for a dark coloured blouse with lace sewed into the edges of the collar I abandoned the task of trying to present myself in a professional manner as Archibald’s raised voice spread through the camp like a disease in order to gain the attention of the others. In the middle of the camp was a table with most of the gang huddled around it, pieces of paper that were filled with notes and numbers were scattered around. Nancy caught my presence and motioned for me to come closer, with everyone present Owen placed his hands on the table. “ Look, we’re running out of money. I checked our finances this morning and if we don’t find some sort of income soon, with the way we’re living we’ll be broke by next month.” Some held the same grimaced look as Owen while others shook their head in disbelief. “ That’s bullshit, Archibald, you told us our last job would keep us going till the end of the year, that was only three months ago.” An unknown member voiced their opinion and nods of agreement were shared as the blame of our incoming poverty was directed to Archibald. “ I-I didn’t lie when I said it would last us but apparently you lot got too greedy and decided to spend our earnings on useless things.” Archibald’s distressed expression was implied by how he adjusted the cuffs of his shirt regularly, Owen stood in front of him. “ It’s in the past now, if we can’t find a job soon we’ll have to make some serious changes.” Miguel held his hand on his hips and furrowed his eyebrow at the man. “ What changes?” Owen ran his finger through his thin blond hair as everyone waited in anticipation for his answer. “ Well, Martha, James and Mateo you might have to start selling some of your game to the butchers in Casidence which means Jeremiah you’ll have to cut down the portions and everyone will have to start using resources only when nesscary cause I don’t know when we’ll find more of it.”

No words were spoken as everyone processed the situation, none of us knew this landscape so it could take months for the chance of a job to fall into our hands. Jeremiah scratched at his stubble as he pushed forward his idea. “ I saw a bank in the town as we passed through, it looks quite unsecured for such a modern place but I’m thinking that there’ll be a lot of money stored in those vaults.”Archibald nodded in agreement, silently giving his blessing to whatever idea that had been concocted. “ Now are you sure it’ll be a big score cause you know we don’t do small jobs, the more money, the more stable we are.” Jeremiah nodded and the objective of a forming a plan was set, everyone shared their ideas though none were seen as successful without catching the attention of the entire town. Alexander insisted that we could just storm the place if I didn’t look secured and just run away before anyone would notice however Owen proposed the idea of hitting the bank at night as there’ll be less security and there’ll be less of a focus of keeping hidden from the public eye. Archibald grew more noticeably irritated at the lack of compromise in his gang, he rubbed his eyes as silenced the men with the motion of his hand. “ Anyone wanna suggest something, anything, I will take whatever you have at this point.” I slightly coughed to gain the attention of the group and they all turned to me with amusement hanging on their lips. “ My dad always use to always go on about social pressure, how everyone only played their roles just because society made them conform and they nothing else than what the others around them did.” I could feel the gaze of some being averted somewhere else, they dismissed me in their own manner, most the men furrowed their brows in confusion. “ Let’s say their is a pride of lions, if their leader moves,another will follow its path then eventually the entire pride follows only because those around are doing the same thing and they feel pressured to copy them. If we all go into the bank casually and for some reason we all start to leave, like there’s a commotion that grabs our attention, those who are in our way like the workers or guards will also leave to find out what’s happening and we can strike without any fuss.”It was as if I had shot a gun in the open, they stared with open eyes as everyone turned to the three men that were seen as their statues of wisdom. They contemplated my words and Archibald made the final say by nodding in favour of my idea.

A plan had been devised, Jeremiah would spend the rest of the day surveying the bank to find out if the internal workers followed some sort of pattern and the next morning he would return to us with his findings. Nathaniel would place some dynamite near the edge of the town, enough to cause a distraction without any damage being caused at all. Emily and Nancy would stay at camp as they were described as being ‘ too fragile for a criminal’s path’ whilst Tim and James were also ordered to stay as a way of protecting both the women and the camp in case something unexpected happened. I couldn’t help the feeling of dread that was flooding into my body, everyone was now putting their trust in the idea I had given, an idea I had never applied to my life and was created in a flurry of panic; if the worst was to happen the blood would be stained into my name. I felt delicate fingers wrap around my forearms and Nancy struggled to hide the naive smile on her face. “ Well done Martha ! My tutor used to ramble on about social pressure but that kind of education is for the upper class, how come you know so much?” Together we started walk towards the table used for food preparation, I began with dicing the onions as Nancy leaned on the table, patiently awaiting my explanation. “ Well, before he fell into the never ending hole of drink, my father used to be a lecturer and always used to blather on about that sort of stuff to me and my brothers.”

With the food being devoured by all as if it was their last supper, everyone bathed in the warm waves of the blazing fire as they individually made toasts to their safety and to everyone in their lives. I considered joining them but could hear Kathy’s taunts lingering in my ear and the incident that had followed from it, my eyes were caught on the blight glow cast onto their faces before I began to walk further towards to my tent as a way of distracting my thoughts from the possible consequences that could come from the job. I drew back the flaps of the tent but could hear the whispered noise of my name being made. Miguel strode over to me and I could see from how his eyes widened once he stood in front of me that whatever words he had planned to say had died in his throat and left an grim silence bloom between us. “ I just wanted to say… buena suerte para mañana.” I placed my hand on my hip and spoke with sarcasm evident in my tone. “ You seem nervous Miguel, do you think I’ll die tomorrow ?” “ Of course not, _you’re too pretty to die_ just yet. Just be safe when you’re out there, some people don’t always follow the plan.” As if it was impulsive, my arms reached forward to wrap around the man’s waist to ease his troubled demeanour, I pressed my cheek into his chest as I felt his arms hesitantly mimic my actions around my slim body. “ Don’t worry, Miguel, if I die there’ll be less mouths to feed and I think in times like these that’d be a good thing…pero gracias por su preocupación.” I could feel the heavy weight of Miguel head resting on top of my own as I closed my eyes and indulged myself in the rare moment of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't the most intense chapter as I wanted some context and I wanted a break from all those action- packed chapters but the next one will be very intense, also I added the end scene as a way of adding some spice. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> " buena suerte para mañana " = Good luck for tomorrow  
> " pero gracias por su preocupación " = But thank you for your concern


	7. A Distraction worthwhile

“ I think this is tight enough, Mrs Wordsworth.”

“My dear, you must have a Princess line in order to blend in and I’m not done yet, when we’re finished you’ll look like every woman’s expectation. Nancy, add some more carmine dye to the cheeks, we need her to look healthy, not like a casket of bones.”

When the torture of my appearance finished, I was presented with a hand-held mirror and could see how coloured my face was; the rosy dye on my cheeks contrasted with the pale colour of my skin which was achieved by layering Pearl powder in order to hide the few faded marks on my face. I could see the tears gradually growing in Nancy’s eyes as she kept unnecessarily complimenting the natural complexion of my face. My entire body felt a mixture of restriction and stiffness, the light coloured gown that I was stuffed into had an abundance of layers and included a bustle, which added a heavy weight to the already unbearable dress; my breathing grew more shallow as both women struggled to pull the laces of the bodice further, it was crushing my ribs but I had no room in my lungs to push forward any words of distress. This style was almost foreign to me, the upper class ladies would always cause some sort of collision in the crowded streets of Birmingham with their protruding bustles and their wandering parasols.

Hearing the return of Jeremiah being announced, I abandoned the women with the mutters of a thank you before I shuffled out of the tent and joined the other men who were adorned with many trinkets that were tucked into the pockets of theirdark suits. In the man’s hands was a notebook filled with timestamps when either the guards switched or when each internal workers left for the day, from his findings, the best time to strike would be at twelve o’clock, when the morning guard left and the next guard was on route to the bank to take over his duties; in total there was five workers which relieved some tension regarding whether there would be too many people who could interfere with the plan.

“We’re all gonna enter the bank at different times so that we don’t arise any suspicion, each of you are gonna be given a reason for why you are at the bank and a position of which you will stay in until both Clyde and Nathaniel give the signal and by signal, I mean, a very intriguing explosion that each of you will slowly go to investigate.” A layout of the bank was sprawled across a table and Archibald pointed to every place each member would go to and gave a brief reason of why they were at the bank, which they could develop in any way they wanted as long as they didn’t act nervous and not actually make any transaction with the bank. “Regarding the ladies.” Archibald’s eyes shifted between myself and Kathy, she clearly voiced her dislike in her role but her concerns feel on deaf ears. “ We can’t have you being independent, you know riding a horse and going into a bank without a man beside you, those people don’t have the same ideas as us so just pick a man, ride with him, keep all talking to a minimal and stick to the plan. Now, I want Owen, Miguel and Martha to stay with me when the explosion goes off. Good luck to you all and lets pray that this job is a successful one.”

Kathy had chosen Alexander to be her partner and together they were the first to ride towards the bank, Nathaniel and Clyde were packing the last sticks of dynamite onto the wagon and making sure that everything was secured, everyone stood in various places and waited for their time to leave. I was drumming my finger across my stomach as way of soothing the fire of fear that was being stoked throughout my body, I stood with Nancy, her voice being nothing but numb to my ears until a familiar presence came towards us. Miguel’s outfit stood out amongst the men, the dark colour of both his frock coat and waistcoat blended with the egg-shell colour of his shirt, his hair being slightly combed back with a few rogue strands falling into his face. “ Mi señora, would you care to be my partner ?” His voice almost purred with his words as he casually offered his hand and I immediately heard the jest slip from Clyde’s mouth. “ Hey, look, Miguel’s taking a bullet for the gang so now none of us have to deal with _all that skirt_ or her attitude.” Nathaniel slowly processed the joke before bursting into laughter. I slipped my hand into Miguel’s as Nancy wished us luck and waved towards us; with the added weight of the dress, the process of getting onto a horse became more difficult but eventually my hands had found its place around Miguel’s waist as we began to ride in a gentle pace.

“¿Cómo te sientes?” Miguel kept his eyes trained to the town that was increasingly getting closer to us but spoke in an reassuring manner, he most likely could feel my fear from how tightly my arms were wrapped around his slim stomach. “ I’m scared, I’m really scared Miguel but I’ve always been this way and nothing good ever came from it so what’s the point of caving in to it.” His horse began to slow it’s pace as strangers began to walk the streets and the various shop windows brushed past us until the horse was brought to a halt and in front of us lay a building with the block words of ‘ _Harrisons and Sons Bank_ ‘ carved into the bricks above the doors, inside I noticed the familiar postures of my fellow gang members. Miguel got down from his horse and aided me as well and together with linked arms, we entered through the double doors of the bank.

Nothing but silence loomed in the air of the bank, it was decorated with simple paintings and flowers to ease the tension that was presented when entering the building. My eyes scanned the room, on the left was a station for people who wanted to withdraw or deposit money, there was metal bars on the top section to stop anyone from reaching through and simply just grabbing the stacks of money that were yet to be placed inside the vaults that were at the back of the building; there was queue of five men, four of which I knew. Behind them was a bench of which Kathy perched herself on, her head forever kept forward. On the other side of the building was a line of desks with only two workers shuffling through masses of paperwork, at one of these desks sat Archibald conversing with the worker, he inspected his scattered files and kept a forced smile on his lips as Archibald kept talking. Both me and Miguel waited a few moments at the door before the only other unoccupied man tied to a desk sauntered over to us with a mild surprised look in his eyes, he shook Miguel’s hand and ushered us to sit down at his desk.

“How can I help you on this fine day?” The man clasped his hands and looked between us, Miguel held a calm tone as he spoke whilst I kept my attention on the nearby barred gate that was guarded by a man who held no interest in his work from how his eyes kept glancing at his pocket watch. “ Me and my wife would like a loan so that we may buy a home so that we can start a family.” The man fiddled with his glasses as he began to describe the process of a loan and what the bank would require from us, then a distant chime of a bell sung through the town and the guard at the gate wasted not a moment to bid his fellow workers goodbye and rushed from the building; the time was now to strike and we all waited for Clyde and Nathaniel’s signal. “ Mr Pérez, I need to ask if there will be any trouble with paying back the loan once it is given, we’ve had people _like you_ in the past ask for a loan but then they never give the money back and it just makes for bad business, do you understand ?” My arm stayed linked with Miguel as a way of keeping him steady but I could still hear the flexing of his hands and the skin of his knuckles was starting to turn white, _until-_

An evident noise could be heard and the window slightly shook at the disturbance, in the distance there was smoke peeking above the buildings of the town, some of the people walking the streets ran from it, screaming for aid whilst others hurried towards it hoping that no one was injured. Inside the bank, it had become deathly quiet, none of the workers meddled with their paperwork and we all shared a facade of fear on our faces. Mateo left first, then Jeremiah, Alexander and Kathy left next and added to the act by proclaiming that their children were playing near that area; I looked to the startled worker in front of me and he rose from his chair with shaking arms before rushing out, I looked around the room as I whispered to Miguel. “ Looks like we won’t be getting a loan after all.” He struggled to hide his smirk as we saw that only one worker hadn’t left the bank, once everyone had disappeared and the initial discomfort was lost the man in front of Archibald carried on with his previous topic. Owen nodded towards the man and Archibald wasted not a moment before slamming the man’s head against his desk and leaving him in an unconscious state with his notes gliding off due to the heavy impact.

“ Right we got one possible witness, that is if he’ll remember anything after that, I saw some keys on the transaction table, I’ll unlock the gate and you three just keep an eye out.” Owen reached his hand through the bars and struggled to reach the keys at the far edge of the table, though he succeeded eventually and rushed to the locked gate, I kept my attention on the streets, some held a frightened hand to their chest as they walked away in distraught.

“ Alright, grab as much as it as you possibly can and somebody make sure that the door is locked when we leave and that the man over there doesn’t look like he’s been knocked out.” The vaults were opened and victory was served to us on a silver dish, I held no sense of dread nor sympathy for the money that these people would lose, I had people in that camp who needed this life and I didn’t want to let them lose it just because I couldn’t change my ways. Archibald suggested that he could stay behind to make sure everything went back to normal, so with our overflowing bags of success all three of left without considering those who could wander near the bank. Miguel tied the bags to his horse and together we left, I felt a form of adrenaline from leaving the bank, I wasn’t frantic or constantly fidgeting from this feeling but I felt more grateful that this idea I had assembled was effectiveand no one got hurt, unless something happened and I was yet to be told.

We hadn’t even reached the outskirts of the camp before we heard the cheers of our friends as they celebrated the job in a mix of primal shouts and joyful laughs, we arrived at the camp and the noise only grew louder at our presence. Everyone created a jovial atmosphere with their smiles and embraces with one another, I steadied myself once Nancy rushed to wrap her arms around me, her words being nothing but muffled against my chest, unintentionally restricting my breathing even further than it already was. Archibald arrived a few minutes after us and outstretched his arms to his followers who all watched in obedience. “ My friends, all of us have returned home safely and ten times richer.” All laughed at his comments however Archibald clasped his hand together and the tone of his voice grew more firm. “ Please now _quietly_ indulge yourselves around friends and loved ones in the respective space of your tents, after the heat of our crime had been extinguished, we shall celebrate.” Though some sighed at Archibald’s order, everyone followed his commands, we couldn’t start making noise after robbing a bank, making ourselves known could cost us our lives.

After ridding myself of the infernal contraption that been encasing my body for many hours, I was once again in the familiar clothes I had been accustomed too for years and now could freely inhale the chilled nightly air. It felt empty within my tent, all around me was muffled chatter and stifled laughter as everyone attempted to celebrate with what little they had. Leaving my accommodation, I strode over to Nancy’s tent and hoped that my need for socialisation could be satisfied by her nurturing words; I pulled back the flaps and was pleasantly astounded and almost startled at the sight of Nancy’s hands being intertwined with James, their faces being close before they flung to the opposite sides of the tent at my sudden intrusion. “ Martha ! Um-um me and Mr Robertson were just t-talking.” I cocked an eyebrow at her efforts in trying to hide her intention with the frightened man beside her. “ That and a little more from what I just saw. Nancy I’m no meddler so I won’t say a word… I’ll just see yah later.” I pulled the flaps together and left; I was vigorously rubbing my eyes to try and rid the image of them entwined with each other, I had wrongly invaded Nancy last shed of privacy and felt a sense of dread leak into my chest.

Before I could even reach the threshold of my tent, I felt the heavy weight of someone collide into me and automatically my hands lifted and fell to their chest. My eyes darted upwards, searching for a face but my attention was instead focused on how intimately close my face was to Miguel’s; his parted lips were a mere inches away from mine and I felt his jagged breaths wade onto my face. Heat was spreading across my skin at how Miguel’s coarse hand gripped my forearms, words of an apology were starting to stutter on my lips but were deserted once I gazed at the gleam of his dark eyes. I had the desire to drag my hands up to his face just to feel how his rugged features would feel against my fingers but I stopped myself before I willingly drowned in a sea of my consequences.I tucked my hands deep into the pockets of my trousers as I awoke myself from the dream-like state I had been under once I was in the comforting embrace of Miguel, I pushed away and awkwardly ambled into my tent leaving the star-struck man to deal with the situation. My thoughts ran wild in a haze of the previous events that had just occurred, I couldn’t lose that memory that was playing like a broken record even as I tightly shut my eyes and willed myself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've never really had the experience of robbing a bank so it might not be as accurate as how they used to rob banks but I thought it was a clever idea anyway. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> " Mi señora " = My lady   
> "¿Cómo te sientes? " = How do you feel ?


	8. The Retrieval of innocence

Buckets of rain collide against the thin material that covered me, some droplets seeped through and collected into a growing puddle near the foot of my bed. An icy feeling filled the bed and no matter how much I bundled myself in the blankets, I still lacked that warmth I desperately needed to keep myself from freezing; I grasped my forearms to stop my body from shivering but my fingers recoiled at the cold touch of my body. Hearing the sound of the rain trickling down the tent reminded me of a more comfortable time, when I could watch from the windows of our lodgings with my brother as everyone rushed to find cover from the daily downpour of rain, they all scuttled like beetles to anything that had a functioning roof.

No matter what I did, I constantly sensed the looming presence of reality tower over me despite how deeply I hide myself from the world; that moment from last night kept replaying itself and I could do nothing but reminisce, the desperate need for the natural warmth of his body was painful, I wanted to hear his soft sigh as our eyes met in awe at each others presence. Miguel always lingered at the back of my mind, shutting my eyes did nothing. Those many years I had stayed committed to Jesse was only sending me down a path that had become unbearable for me; I had only known Miguel for a few short weeks but was treated by him as if we had been apart of each others lives for decades. The walls I had successfully trapped myself within were struggling to keep together, I had already experienced the painful sight of the person I loved slowly dying, his way of life fading away. _Miguel could be different, he will be different if you’d say something rather than cower back into the hole you had voluntarily dug yourself into._

A deep cry of rage rattled through the calm atmosphere of the camp, nothing good could of came from a scream like the one that crushed the noise of the rain. I pulled on my boots, I felt the puddles that had been soaked into the shoes but dismissed the disturbing feeling spreading through my toes; I grabbed my hat, the bird feather having been lost to the harsh winds of our journey to Casidence. My movement slowed once I left my tent, my feet struggling to pull themselves from the grip of the gradually sinking mud. The voice cried out again and more people began to emerge from their tents, their facial expression matching my own look of distress and confusion.

Owen sprung from the edges of the trees and rushed to the cluster of blatantly alarmed people, his breathing shallow as he struggled to speak. “She’s- she’s gone… can’t find her.” Jeremiah reached his friend and clutched his shoulder, forcing the man to steady his uneven breathing. “ Owen, what’s wrong. Who’s gone ?” Owen’s shoulders tensed at the touch of his friend, he didn’t hesitate to voice his answer for all to hear. “ Emily… she was there, beside me and the boy when we went to bed but when I woke up she was gone and there ain’t a trace of her anywhere in this _god damn_ camp.”

The spurs on Alexander’s boots clicked at his every move as he took his place behind Owen, his ginger moustache twitching in anticipation. “ Maybe she just ran off, after what you did last year in that bar I’d think that woman has every right to leave you and that little shit of yours.” Owen’s fist connected to Alexander’s jaw and the man collapsed to the mud in agony, clutching his injury as Archibald stood between them with a calloused expression. “Look son, we know as much as you do at this point and I think Alexander isn’t wrong for saying-“

A voice called out to Owen in a soft and polite manner, their fragile legs leaping across the deep puddles; Tim wasn’t the ideal picture of a seven year old, you could see his bones protruding from his body and the colour of his face resembling that of fresh snow, death frequently sat beside the boy as he quite often was bound to his bed for reasons that weren’t shared to the rest of the group, Emily was always there to care for her son at any moment and Owen couldn’t comprehend the reasons why his son wasn’t as perfect as he needed. “ Father, I found this note under mother’s pillow but I can’t read it.” The note was snatched from the boy’s grasp by his father, Owen didn’t acknowledge the boy as his eyes traced over the words leaving Tim to shudder under the blankets of rain above him until Nancy cooed the boy towards her and wrapping him in her shawl. “ I can’t read it, that-that ain’t English. Can anybody read this ?” He held the note in the air in aggravation allowing everyone to gaze at the creased paper, the writing looked unfamiliar to me; the cursive hand-writing could of been from anyone’s hand.

“ It’s French.” James stepped away from Nancy’s side and Owen was quick to send the note into his hands, not caring about his neglected kin that stood between myself and Nancy; James cleared his throat and began to translate the unknown words. “ To whomever can translate this, your gang has taken something from me and I have exacted the price for your actions.” Archibald placed his hands on his hips and listened with intent to James’ translation. “ I thought you savages would have learned your lesson after you stole one of my own. Your downfall shall be your greed for power and revenge. However we both know that you won’t give back what you took from me.” Without hesitation, I shifted my gaze towards Archibald who was already keeping his eyes on my movement, his fingers shifting around the ring _I had retrieved without telling him who I took it from._

“ If I can’t have it, I want it’s value. Give me what it is worth in dollars and the woman will be free. I expect to see you at the edge of Babington River with my money tonight, otherwise the woman shall reap the consequences of your ignorance. Signed _Gabriel Levitt.”_ Owen was in a mixed state of confusion and fury, he turned to Archibald with the fire practically burning in his pupils. “ Why has he got my wife? I thought that situation with James ended years ago. What are they even asking for ?” Archibald didn’t meet Owen’s eyes, his attention instead caught on the swirling mud beneath him. “They want $10,000.” Some gasped at their demands, the money we had returned with yesterday wasn’t close to their goal and there was no possible way to make enough by tonight. “ How do you know, what haven’t you told us yet Archibald.” Owen’s raised voice was met with the blunt yet calm tone of his superior’s words. “ Just… Just trust me son, I can promise you that we’ll get Emily back.”

“ How… how can we make up ten thousand dollars in the next few hours ? How am I gonna tell my boy that he probably ain’t gonna see his mother again ?” I looked down at the boy beside me, his attention rather focused on how the rain was gliding down his hair in a swift manner, no one could replace the lad’s mother,if we couldn’t save her. “ You ain’t gotta tell him nothing cause we gonna end this feud tonight, Gabriel’s gonna get an audience with us but we won’t listen, that French bastard will die tonight.” Archibald grasped the man’s shoulder in assurance and Owen faced us with determination replacing the previous fire in his eyes. “ I want every person with a gun to ride with me, we leave in two hours and we’re gonna wait for Mr Levitt to bring us Emily and when I give the signal I want every bullet you’ve got to fire at his men.”

Alexander and some grunted in disapproval and professed that they wouldn’t sacrifice their life for a woman they deemed useless; Owen dismissed them and knelt into the mud before his son. “I’m going to get your momma back, I promise. Whilst I’m gone I want you to listen to Miss Nancy and be good for her, ok ?” Tim nodded to his father and was ushered by Nancy towards her tent where she began to ease his young mind with nurturing words.

A silent chaos broke out in the camp, everyone rushed to strap their rifles to whatever space they had left on their saddles and making sure that they were practically overflowing with ammunition. With everything prepared we sat atop our horse awaiting for Owen to appear from his tent, Chips frequently stomped his hooves into the mud in disgust as the dirt splashed onto his legs with every movement, the silence was broken once Owen’s orders to move out were announced and all of us snapped the reigns of our horses and spurred them to follow Owen, he ignored his surroundings and made no comments to us about our plans leaving us to ride with the rain being the only sound between us.

All of us blindly followed Owen to the river, the clouds kept their dark monotone shade as we rode up the dangerously steep hills and encountered a river, the abundance of branches and pebbles peeking through the water suggested its shallow levels and therefore was ideal for those who wanted to cut across, on the other side of the river began a trail of stones that eventually disappeared under the cluster of trees. Owen abruptly halted, he narrowed his eyes towards the opposite side of the river before nudging his horse towards the trees. “ This is Babington, now hitch up your horses and prepare for their arrival. We don’t know when exactly he’ll be here but it’ll be reckless if we just relax.” We followed his actions and descended from our horses, guiding them to where the trees would hide their presence and muffle their regular noise.

I slung my rifle over my shoulder and followed the others, I joined Miguel, Mateo and James as they leaned against the nearby trees; Jeremiah, Owen and Archibald stood by the edge of the river as they conversed with each other about ideas that couldn’t reach our ears. “ God, I haven’t seen Gabriel in maybe four years, I can’t imagine how withered and crazed the man has become now.” James looked down at his crossed feet, his attention switching between himself and the shadows across the river.

Miguel scratched the coarse hairs of his beard and softly spoke. “ From what I remember from the shootout, he was bald so I can’t imagine it got any worse than that.” Together in those fleeting moment of calmness, we shared a hum of laughter.Eventually the laughter we shared did nothing to ache the strain on our legs, though none said a word I could see the unseen pain in Miguel’s eyes as he shifted his weight against the trees. Then we heard Archibald’s hushed voice directed towards us. “ We can hear hooves, get over here now!” I surged towards the river’s edge, placing myself between a concerned James and a soundless Jeremiah; I watched as the outlines of bodies began to emerge from the woods.

Gabriel stood at the water’s edge whilst the rest of his men stood their ground in the concealment of the trees; his eyes gradually gazed at us all, Gabriel matched Miguel’s description though what he lacked was compensated with the thick black moustache that lay across his scared lip. Tension spread across the water like mist and it only grew like Gabriel’s sick grin as a body was tossed to the ground near his feet and all watched as we gazed at the brutally beaten body of Mrs Wordsworth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it looks like Emily got kidnapped. Also we get a rare appearance from the young son Tim who just needs some care. I enjoyed writing this chapter very much cause it just added more action to the plot. Thanks for reading!


	9. The Dangerous effects of Desire

As expected, Owen was practically enraged at the sight of his beaten wife, her gaze weakly raising to us all before her head fell to the ground under the weight of Gabriel’s foot. Silence faded across the water, Gabriel’s attention switching between us all as his eyes raked up our bodies and he made a noise of laughter. “Archibald, tu es devenu gros et vieux comme le reste de tes hommes, à l’exception de celui-là." We all turned to James in confusion, he turned to Archibald. “ He says you’ve gotten fat and old like the rest of your men, except for that one there; he’s talking about Martha.”

Gabriel abandoned his abuse towards Emily and faced me, it was revolting to be the resting image in his mind. “Tell him that things have changed since our last encounter.” James spoke to the man but he was quick to retort to him, his fingers pointed towards both Archibald and Emily. “ Oh yes there has been change but not for you I see, you still continue to search for more power and now this woman has paid for your crimes.” James spoke with a bleak tone, never putting emphasis on any of Gabriel’s words,Archibald held his chin between his fingers before slowly speaking again. “ Tell him that- “

Owen cut Archibald off with the movement of his hand. He grabbed a bag from the floor, from its clattering heavy sounds it was presumably filled with stones; he waved it in front of Gabriel in a mocking gesture. “Enough of this, tell him that we’ve got his money and that we want the woman first.” Gabriel grimaced as he waggled his finger, he dragged Emily from her place with a sharp tug at her elbow until she stood with shaking legs. “ He says that this isn’t going to work like that, you’re going to give the money at the same time as he passes the woman over otherwise he’ll just shoot her now.” I adjusted my tight grip around my rifle and raised my shoulders once the disclosed figures in the trees started to become more clearer.

Owen cursed at himself and trudged through the river, similarly Gabriel came closer until they both stood in the middle of the water with only the feeling of resentment separating them. Emily no longer held a pristine expression upon her face, only defeat lingered in her glossed eyes along with the bruises and cuts that were littered around her body; the neat bun that was always upon her head was replaced with knotted strands that tumbled down her back and wrapped around the baggy clothes she had been possibly forced into.

With the rain still pouring down onto us, their voices became barely audible; Owen’s lips moved in disgust as he tried to reach for his wife but she was pulled away by Gabriel harsh grip. It was if there was no life behind his eyes, his face held no emotion once Emily began to open her mouth, all that could be heard was the painfully croak of her voice.

The devised plan that had been formed had been destroyed as Owen traded the bag in his hand for his holstered revolver, it took only a few moments for him to shove the barrel into Gabriel’s mouth and pulling the trigger, his body collapsing into the river and the water began to mix with Gabriel’s dark blood; my eyes widened as I held back the churning feeling in my stomach. His movements were smooth and precise but was the cause of a shootout to break out between the two gangs.

I ran towards the trees for cover, some boldly stood their ground and covered Emily and Owen as he dragged her through the discoloured water. Gabriel’s men were still enclosed in the shadows of the trees, I blindly shot at any movements of a bush or the sound of a breaking branch.

Soon, we were all less exposed and could hear from across the water as men fell to the ground in cry’s of agony. Archibald shouted to us, his words being rushed over the constant gunfire. “ I think they’re on the run so now’s our chance to get out of here!”

Bullets flew past my head as I gradually moved from each tree until I was close enough to Chips and the other disturbed horses. Behind me, I heard a sharp hiss of pain and Mateo clutched his side, the wound wasn’t profusely bleeding but Miguel still closely watched over his friend as they got onto their horses. Once the flurry of bullets stopped, Owen led us back to camp; we all tensed at the fragile sight of Emily as Owen had to frequently shake his wife awake.

Without any distractions, we reached the camp and was greeted with Alexander announcing our arrival albeit with a sense of sarcasm; Owen called out for both Tim and Nancy who emerged from the tent, Tim ran to his father whilst Nancy struggled to hold Emily’s weight and turned to me.

Without a word shared between us and only a silent confirmation I took the injured woman from Nancy’s arms and dragged her limp body to Nancy’s tent, carefully laying her across her bed. I was directed to remove the bloodied shirt she was stuffed into, which I did whilst Nancy lightly pressed her fingers against different parts of her stomach and examined the various cuts on her face.

Emily squirmed and groaned against Nancy’s soft movements before whispering her pleas. “ Somebody just talk, I don’t care… I just dislike how quiet it is.” Myself and Nancy shared a look of relief at that her condition, the woman wastes no time describing the countless things she had done since the morning from the food preparations to the clothes she had sewed but I allowed Nancy to distract her mind as I looked at the consequences of my actions, every mark on Emily’s body was a reminder that I was the one who re-lit the faded feud between Gabriel and Archibald.

At some point, Nancy pressed her hand too harshly against a spot which was obviously sensitive for Emily as she made a noise of pain and Nancy was quick to apply some soothing medicine to the area, I clutched her shoulder in a manner of sympathy until she instinctually grabbed my hand once Nancy ventured closer to her broken ribs which had induced her shallow breathing; I placed my other hand across her knuckles to further ease the woman but something… _just didn’t feel right._ Something felt unnatural once I held Emily’s hand but the woman’s face showed no feeling of discomfort, only gratitude as her features softened; I pulled back the hand atop her knuckles as her grip began to loosen, my entire body became numb at the sight and I covered my mouth to muffle the gasp that had unexpectedly left my lungs.

“-she’ll live if she gets some rest, I can’t do much about those broken ribs except wait for her body to heal itself.” I tried to reach for Nancy’s shoulder to gain her attention but she brushed past me, I stumbled with my words at the first attempts. “Nancy… we’ve got another problem.” “ If it’s another bruise, I haven’t got anything for that.” Nancy turned to me as she thumbled with a rag, I held up Emily hand and kept the levels of my voice low enough for only her to hear. “ No, not that. She’s missing a _fuckin’ finger.”_ The colour of Nancy’s face began to change as she tried to keep her eyes away from what little remained of Emily’s ring finger. “Oh my…I-I’ll deal with… that. You just- just go and make sure that Tim and Owen know that she’ll be alright.”

Nancy held a hand to her chest before taking my place beside Emily as I wasted not a moment to leave and steadily inhale the air, the rain had stopped but the journey to Owen’s tent was filled with puddles of mud. Owen stood at the entrance of his tent with a cigarette lingering near his lips, he tossed it aside at my presence. “ How is she ? Can I see her ?” I reassured Owen and the man ran his finger through his hair in excitement, I whispered the last part of my message. “ Just don’t let Tim see his mother until she’s completely healed.”

Covering my eyes, I leaned against a tree on the outskirts of the camp, it was far enough to violently shake at the image that would forever be burned into my vision. I couldn’t tell whether or not some tears had broken through the feeling in face was gone and I couldn’t register whatever feeling that was seeping into my body. Some time after Miguel had joined me but not a word was shared between us, only the crackling sound of the distant fire, I felt his eyes only keeping their gaze on myself but I kept my head forward until the silence that had been formed became unbearable for me.

“ I wished I had just held my tongue and never went to get that _bloody ring._ I thought what I was doing was going to help me but when everyone finds out that the reason Emily ain’t got a finger I’ll be dead before I can explain myself.”

Miguel crossed his arms and stepped towards me. “ Mierda… well just don’t tell anyone, you’ve done a lot for the gang, more than most people.” Clenching my fists, I shifted against the tree until I was closer to the man. “ Did you not see Owen shove his gun into Gabriel’s mouth, he did that when he saw Emily. Can you imagine what’ll happen when he discovers that _I_ put her there. Everything that happened is my fault.” Miguel simply stared at his boots as he listened to my gritted voice.

“ _Everything_ …” I could hear in my own ears how pathetic my words were from its soft tone. 

“No, no that’s where you’re wrong, it was Gabriel’s choice to take Emily and it was my choice to tell you about the ring and I-I…” His words held a sense of frustration as his took another step towards me but he broke away from his words to calm himself.“ Seeing you happy and feeling like you’re apart of the gang made me feel something that was… _different_.” Miguel began to rub the nape of his neck as his voice grew more quieter, his eyes turned away from mine.

“ Why are you telling me this?” We didn’t acknowledge how close we were once again but I still was leaning closer towards him, waiting for his eventual answer. “I’m tired of not saying anything, last night I wanted to hold you and I wanted that and more… but I will never, never force you into something like that.”

Pulling his face down to reach mine, our lips met together. At first I hear his surprised gasp but it quickly dies as Miguel palms my jaw and draws me closer to him, my hands drop from his face and slither to his chest where I wrapped my fingers around his shirt. His lips feel soft against my own, different to the rough texture of his face. Miguel’s hand began to move upwards where they found their place, threaded between my strands of hair and the deep noises that erupted from his chest were delightful to spread across my body. Miguel pulled away but his grip in my hair stayed the same, I watched a smile leisurely grow on his parted lips and I could feel my own mirroring the movement.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, finally I can't stress how much passion I put into writing the last part, it just had to be perfect and not be like a cliche. In other news, Emily is missing her ring finger so there is a bit of poetic justice from Gabriel that I thought just made it more impactful. 
> 
> " Mierda " = Shit


	10. Words of Fear

_This wasn’t my tent._

I found myself under the soft tangled blankets of a bed that didn’t have the stiff feeling of my own, the placement of objects around me were unfamiliar and I couldn’t recall owning any of the things around me. Waves of warmth were filling the atmosphere until I felt the rough textured skin beside me, looking up I could see the rise and fall of Miguel’s chest as his body clung to the limited space of the bed. Words of endearment had easily passed between us after our encounter and a exploration of touches followed from it.

Entangling my finger into the dusting of hair on his bare chest I watched as his body reacted greatly to my movement and eventually Miguel stirred in a dazed state until we were both greeted with each other’s enticing embrace. “ Well isn’t this a wonderful sight to see.”

Resting my head on his chest, a sigh passed through me; how long would Miguel spend his moments with me before brushing me off just like before, did he expect me to never speak of this to anyone or was he in the process of courting me and hoping for growing family. Miguel obviously could see my fallen gaze and took a few moments to caress my shoulder in comfort before speaking his concern. “Everything alright ? You seem uncomfortable.” Miguel’s hand stayed in place, the aftermath of our actions were lingering thoughts that couldn’t be ignored.

“ What’s going to happen now with us, I mean. Do I have to announce to everyone in some grand way ?” Outstretching my hands in a mock gesture, I caught the faint noise of Miguel’s laugh. “Quise decir lo que dije ayer, mi querido, we don’t need a title. Let the others have their rumours, only we know the truth.”

His words lightened the harsh chain of reality that was wrapped tightly around my wrists, I didn’t have to worry about what the others thought about me or what my family would have to say, that I was once again filling my time with a man. I could hear the others as they began to emerge from their tents, their shuffling across the grass as they greeted those who passed them; though the idea of staying in Miguel’s comforting arms was tempting there was something that could no longer be delayed.

Miguel clearly shared the same thoughts as his grip tightened for only a moment before he rose from his bed to gather his discarded clothes. “ I’ve gotta go to the post office today to send off some letters, do you wanna come ?” Gathering his clothes, Miguel re-buttoned his shirt and tugged on the belt around his waist whilst his face held an indecisive expression.

“ Though I’d enjoy nothing more, I’ve got take over Mateo’s morning hunting, the poor kid is still licking his wounds.” I held no sort of frustration towards him for his reply after all this was a cycle that needed stability from each of us. “ Miguel, with you doin’ the hunting you’ll come back with a rabbit and a grin on your face.”

Facing away from him to dress myself, I could hear his exaggerated gasp and when I peered over my shoulder his arms were crossed in consideration. “ Te demostraría que estás equivocada pero me temo que pueda volver con lgunas cicatrices.” Leaning over the bed, I kissed Miguel gently before leaving with a promise that I’d speak with him later.

I intended to walk towards Chips but found myself in front of Nancy’s tent, I pulled back her flaps with the whispering of her name but instead saw the sight of the woman struggling to keep herself awake whilst Emily glanced from myself back to the book in front of her, Nancy stumbled once she leaped from her seat and I quickly held her by her forearms until she eventually steadied herself with neat posture. “ Are you alright Nancy, did you leave Emily’s side at all last night ?”

The deep rings under Nancy’s eyes were clear signs of her lack of sleep, her lids slowly moved as she waved me off. “ I’m fine, I had a few minuets of sleep before Mrs Wordsworth needed me again which I don’t mind as she’s really returning to her _former self_ albeit a few things _missing._ However it seems to me that you’re faring better after seeing Migue-“ Before I could protest against Nancy, Emily audibly closed her book.

“ Nancy, I may be incapacitated but I thought my hatred of gossip would have clung to you whilst I was gone but apparently I was wrong; Martha shouldn’t have little worms _like you_ wiggling into her private life, however-“ Nancy’s head fell in sorrow as Emily faced me with narrowed eyes. “ I shall say this, you should be careful with your activities with that man; you don’t need another thing tying you down to this group. I’m forever grateful for my little boy but I never wanted to forever live in this lifestyle, I had a suitor waiting for me in Germany you know.”

Once again returning to her book, I lifted my eyebrow towards Nancy who had turned away from Emily to stifle her laughter but silenced herself when Emily lifted her head towards us. With a smug smile, I clutched Nancy’s shoulder in admiration for her patience with the woman and promptly left.

Entering the town, I could feel the eyes of strangers lingering on my passing figure as I rode past them in a hurried pace, I knew that my rare appearances in communities were limited in order to uphold our criminal reputation but their attention wasn’t wavered by anything around them, they just kept staring even as I strode into the bland post office. Plucking my letter from my pockets, I made sure that the address was the exact one Ollie had given me in his previous letter; when handing it to the jovial man he gently shook the envelope and laughed at it’s heavy weight.

“ Can’t imagine how many pages of writing you’ve got in here, must have a lot to say to someone.” _Yes, it was my few words to my family that weighed it down not the considerable amount of money inside that could support anyone._

I smiled to the man in an act of politeness before passing the fee for the letter and leaving without another word. Making my way back to the post I had hitched Chips to, I could once again feel those eyes stalking my movement; I dismissed the sensation and moved faster towards Chips until a board of posters struck my attention, the same one being plastered in every crevice of free space.

There were the faded lettering of MISSING along the top and a considerable amount of money underneath that matched its style; in the centre there was an illustration, though it was of poor quality and rushed effort the features of their face resembled that of my own and the act of breathing suddenly became more difficult. There was a small paragraph of details above the picture, ‘ Martha Hastings, Last seen in Burnstown, if you have any information regarding this woman come to the Quincy inn in Casidence.’

Someone was desperate to find me and I could feel nothing less than afraid, how dangerous was it for me to linger in this town knowing that someone here was eager to find me. There could be hundreds of people who wanted me, whether it was dead or alive was not my concern; maybe it was a past bounty who wants revenge or by some chance it could be _Jesse,_ maybe he would beg at my feet or drag me by my hair if he found me.

By the time I had reached the camp, I was clutching my wrists and debating whether to tell the others about my discovery; I heard delicate steps come towards me and Nancy approached me with a bundle of clothing in her arms, most of them being covered in patches of dried blood. “ Heard that you went into town, did you get everything?” With a forced smile, I began to make small steps to my tent and Nancy followed. “ Yeah… it was just some letters I had to send off but it was nothing.” 

I couldn’t tell Nancy, she would panic and it would be tortuous to put the woman under even more stress but if I didn’t do anything would they be able to find me if I got taken. Archibald was clearly pained by the encounter with Gabriel and wasn’t frequently seen by those around him, everyone would have to move again if they found out and with Emily’s condition something worse could happen and once more it would be of my cause; that strain could finally break the gang and I wasn’t prepared to sacrifice others that had no involvement.

Nancy expressed how she was adamant to clean everyone’s tent tomorrow, I offered my help to her and left the woman to her endless tasks. The only choice I had was to not act on my desires of finding whoever wanted me and continue to live in this camp with unanswered questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Though it may be a bit shorter than the others I can assure you that the next few chapters possibly could be more impactful towards the story and will reveal more information. Thanks for reading !
> 
> " Quise decir lo que dije ayer, mi querido "= I meant what I said last night, my dear,
> 
> " Te demostraría que estás equivocada pero me temo que pueda volver con lgunas cicatrices.” = I'd prove you wrong but I fear I may come back with a few scars


	11. Collision of Past and Present

The unspoken rule of tidiness clearly wasn’t followed by most of the gang, therefore it was mine and Nancy’s job to clean the tents of our fellow friends whilst they either watched in confusion or wandered off to distance themselves from their unkempt space. At first, it was almost interesting to see the personal and private rooms of the others until the task of folding abandoned clothes and dusting behind forgotten corners became too tedious.

Leaving Clyde’s minimalistic tent, Nancy turned away from Alexander’s tent with her nose clutched between her fingers before taking a moment to breathe and suggested that I could do Miguel’s tent next but the task became more difficult once I found the man laying across his bed with book loosely held in his hands but a smug grin across his lips.

We spoke about various yet meaningless topics that couldn’t hold on interest, only nodding in acknowledgement as Miguel’s voice gradually became muffled; those posters were still in front of me, that vague illustration staring at me as the ink dripped down the paper, how long would it be before those posters would be brushed away by some harsh gust. At some points, I held the urge to go to that inn to find that person, to just _end this_ before anything came from it. “ Everything ok Martha ?” Bringing my head from the ground, Miguel no longer lounged across his bed, his posture now stiff as he sat at the edge; _the man is worried for you, all he wants is the truth._

Knowing that the words shared between us were kept in the walls of our tents, I told Miguel about what I saw and the endless people who could want me for numerous reasons but I couldn’t convince myself that it wasn’t Jesse who lingered in Casidence. Afterwards, Miguel ran his fingers through his hair before reaching for my wrists and pulling me towards him. “ I’m not sure what to tell you Martha, I understand that you want to find whoever this person is but you’ve got to consider the people around you, Archibald wouldn’t consider letting us leave when there was information about one of his own being passed around. What if you get hurt… I won’t be there.”

Lowering myself, I gently kissed his forehead before holding his face so that his fallen eyes reached my own. “ What was it you said, _I’m too pretty to die_.” The corners of his mouth lifted as my fingers continued to sketch patterns across his cheeks, I pulled back once Nancy’s voice called out for me. Miguel ushered me out as he realised my body wouldn’t move, even as Nancy’s voice grew more vocal.

“There you are Martha, I was beginning to get worried. Now we’ve only got Archibald’s tent to clean now so I was thinking we could finish it quicker if we did it together.” Avoiding Nancy’s youthful gaze, I sunk my hands into my pockets; this incident needed to end tonight whether I had answers or not was the descion I needed to make now.

“ I’ll be honest with you Nancy, there’s something I’ve got to do. Nothing to be worried about ,well not really, but I won’t be able to help. I-I’m sorry I really am-“ Nancy began to chuckle at my nervous stuttering and lifted her hand. “ It’s fine, go do whatever business you have that has to take you away from me, I shall conquer Archibald’s tent myself.” Aware of my surroundings, I made my way towards Chips, those around had grabbed their evening meal and retreated to the tents as the sun began it’s descent so the question of my sudden disappearance wouldn’t arise.

With jagged hooves, I guided Chips from the outskirts in a soft pace so that the noise of our movements wouldn’t attract any suspicion and as the comforting outline of the camp began to muddle with the trees Chips began to canter towards Casidence. As I discovered, after searching through the desolate streets, the inn found itself at the edge of the town where only wildlife occasionally lingered, not the centre of the town where the most activity happened and more strangers wandered through looking for accommodation.

The structure resembled a broken home with fragile walls that winced with every brush of the wind, a mix of dust and cobwebs were painted across the windows; the sign that dangled outside only enforced the inn’s dull demeanour, the words on the wood were cracked and its hinges being covered in rust. A guest tucked themselves into the corner of the porch on a rocking chair and held his disgruntled expression as I made my way inside to where a woman peeked out from the lounge area.

Her appearance clearly matched with the inn and immediately she folded her arms and scoffed at my entrance. “ Good evening, I’ve got some information on that missing pers-“ She hushed me with the movement of my hand, feeling growingly agitated I moved my hands from my sides to my hips where I dug my nails into my jacket to hide my annoyance. “ Had a lot of people like you in the last week, up the stairs and it’s the door at the end of the hall just say what you’ve got and get out.” Uninterested, she shuffled back into the lounge area and I climbed the stairs that cried out at each step.

The woman had said _‘ a lot of people like you’_ which could imply more people were eager to find me and claim the grand reward; what information had they given ? I was preparing myself for whoever could be at the end of the hall, that inkling that it could be Jesse had only being growing throughout the day the man had a passion for keeping his possessions close to him at all times and would clearly voice his frustration when one of them went _missing_.

Noises came from each of the doors, their were some conversations behind the doors with some being more heated than others until I reached the door at the end, no sound came from it. Miguel’s words of fear had sunk into my actions as my fingers cautiously reached for the revolver at my hip, its holster being concealed by my jacket and once my fingers were wrapped around the grip I held my hand up to the door and knocked.

For those moments of silence, I considered they weren’t there but a shuffle came from the other side of the door followed by some disorganised steps and then the handle of the door started to stiffly move and was forced open with a ruthless grip and the door was flung open.

“ Martha?” In front of me no longer was the skinny, quick-witted lad that used to shout from the window to the people bellow, he wasn’t boy that always came home with some sort of injury and an excuse behind it; he had aged just as I had and his face showed no sign of innocence, only tension that clung to his raised shoulders. “ Tom, Tom what are you doin’ here. Wh- You shouldn’t be here.”

Tom had only been two years younger than me but was seen as a child by our family, we would often spend our time together with Ollie, watching over the others whilst they ran senseless in the streets but Tom would grow bored of it quickly and would wander off. The letters I got after I left spoke of how different Tom had become, he didn’t interact as much with the rest of the family, mostly spending his days at a pub or at his job. He stepped away from the doorway and gestured for me to come in, I strode in and slammed the door behind me; out of all the people behind that door, Tom wasn’t anywhere close to what I expected.

“ Why are you here Tom, cause I know you ain’t on holiday from those bloody missing person posters you’ve been putting up.” I didn’t want to be found by my brother, not whilst I’m a criminal. He stared at me for awhile and struggled to form his words. “ Not really the way I hoped you’d greet me after not seeing me in four years but you’re here nevertheless. I’d been going to towns, putting up posters and going back every few days to find out if anyone had something. I’ve been in America for a couple of weeks now I think.”

Though a part of me couldn’t comprehend seeing my brother, I couldn’t help but feel frustrated that he’d still came. “ You still ain’t given a reason, is mum alright ? Has something happened back home cause I’ve just sent the money yesterday, I can send more.”

Tom moved towards his bed as I leaned against its metal frame, a comfortable environment for such a unexpected discovery. Tom dragged his hands briefly down his face before looking at me again. “ Well mum and dad moved to Wombourne, it’s a village just near Birmingham but I think it’s good for her at least. Ollie’s got a kid now with that Mary girl, they’ve called him Walter, bit of rubbish name, but he lives in London now as ‘there’s more work’ he says. As for Florence, I ain’t heard from her in awhile; last thing I saw her she was screaming about this man of hers who she believes is her true love but if you saw him you’d have taught that girl a lesson for sure, I mean she’s sixteen for god’s sake.”

Tom began to trial off about Florence, she always was catching the eye of most of the boys around her and would cry the next week about her newest heartbreak; I enjoyed hearing about everyone else, it helped to ease the anger I held. “ What about you Tom?”

“ Me ? Well I’ve been alright, been trying to get a job as a carpenter that sort of stuff, got married to Eva a few months ago, you’d love her Martha… Shit! Forgot about Alice, she can speak now and all she ever mumbles about is about her older sister and how she wants to be here with you.”

Alice, the sister who I was yet to meet, the girl who had never seen me.

“ Believe me she doesn’t want to be here, especially with me.” Alice shouldn’t have to know that I wasn’t up to the high regard she held me in, instead I was apart of the problems that everyone was always trying to destroy from society. Tom shifted forward from the bed and spoke with an uncertain tone. “ Why Martha? What have you gotten into ?”

The man was my brother, he deserved to know about my new lifestyle but despite that, it was difficult to phrase the words, not wanting to spill every detail; I folded my arms and began to make small steps around the room. “ Well you know how I used to be sort of apart of the law you know doing bounty work and getting criminals, well I’m sort of against the law and such.”

In that moment I wanted to leave without saying anything, Tom’s expression changed drastically and it matched his frustrated and clenched voice. “ Fuckin’ hell Martha, we ain’t kids anymore. You can’t go looting people in alley’s like we use to, times have changed and we ain’t here to stop them from hanging yah.” _Times have changed,_ Tom spoke to me as if I hadn’t spent four years of my life trying to make theirs a little less well, shit; I hadn’t just ran off, I did everything for them. “ No, for some, times haven’t changed; mum couldn’t look at me without seeing him and everyone else wanted to see me get married. I mean that’s the reason you’ve come here ain’t it, to _persuade_ me back. What would I do anyway? You’ve all left each other.”

Despite the venom that had launched from my lips, Tom hadn’t reacted, he just clasped his hands and looked up to me. “ You’re right, I have come here for you. Martha, you’ve done a lot for the family you really have and our lives are better now but you’ve got to come back at some point. I know it’s not just your job that’s keeping you here; if it’s about Johnny you know that none of us blame you for what happened, it just… happened but Mum is worrying herself to death about yah, she just wants her daughter back.”

“ It don’t matter if you blame me or not, I’ll still blame myself everyday for what I did but that’s not the point.” After taking a moment to block any impeding tears my voice softened until only Tom could hear my fragile words. “ Look, I’ve sort of got a decent thing for me here… but I’ll think about it, alright Tom?” The lie was another thing to be added to my list of actions and Tom relaxed at my words.

“ I guess that’ll have to do so I’ll take it. Say I thought you lived in Burnstown with that lad… Joe, James?” Scoffing, I made my way to the dusted window, the sun no longer had any presence and the ending of this encounter was drawing closer. “ Let’s just say that he ain’t gonna find me anytime soon.”

“Hm. Lord, do you understand how difficult it is to be in this country, the weather is always changing and the people here are just strange. Definitely not like Birmingham, I’ll tell you that.” Tom hadn’t caught the change in the air, no longer being frustrated and of confusion but now an abrupt end. “ Don’t get me started… I’ve gotta go Tom, can’t be in towns too long these days. I never thought that it’d be you on the other side of the door but I’m glad it was. Tell mum and Alice I miss them and make sure if you do come back that you don’t bring the family with yah.”

Reaching my hand out to Tom, he smiled before tugging on my wrists towards him where he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and barely left any room for air between us; I held him in the same way, some tears slipped through my cracks and snuck down my cheeks. Eventually pulling away, I saw the slip of emotion that was trickling down Tom’s cheeks and reflected his puffy eyes, without another word I left the room and left my brother.

Once I was back on the saddle of Chips, I struggled to keep my composure as stranglers trotted past; all that uncertainty had been for nought and finally I could continue with my life without the fear of the past. Everyone seemed to be silent when I returned, either no one took notice of my disappearance or had no reason to spread rumours.

I could see the glow of a lantern peeking through the flaps of Miguel’s tent and began to make my way towards it before Nancy stumbled from her tent and wrappedher hand around my own, her head was bowed and her breathing was inconsistent. “ Nancy, what’s wrong ? Is Emily alright ?” I looked to her tent but could see nothing inside, no body lay in her bed and Nancy shook her head in dismissal. “ N-no Emily’s fine and I’ve sent her back to her tent but I need to speak with you… not now, I’m not sure who listening.”

Nancy’s eyes were glossed and were constantly shifting around the camp but there was nothing. “ You can tell me right now, it’s alright.”

“ No, I can’t, I just can’t. I’ll _come to you_ in the morning, please Martha?” Nodding my head, Nancy closed her eyes for a moment, the colour slightly returning on her cheeks afterwards. “ Thank you Martha…yo-you’re a good woman, you know.” I couldn’t even protest as Nancy pulled away and concealed herself back into her tent.

Slightly overwhelmed by the day’s events as well as Nancy’s plead, I found my way into Miguel’s arms whilst I re-told about my brother, I brushed past Nancy’s words as an act of privacy between me and the woman; Miguel listened intently as I mumbled about my family and never questioned me as I rambled on about unimportant details until I collapsed in his arms in exhaustion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter may be bit longer than my last one but it was pretty cool and we get to find out about Martha's life; the next chapter will be important! Thanks for reading!


	13. The Repercussions of Death

Just like many mornings before, I had found myself settled deep into the warm space of Miguel’s bed whilst the man shielded my body with his own as a reminder that he was there. However I resisted the sensation to close my eyes for a few more minutes, I hadn’t forgotten about Nancy’s confusing yet suspicious behaviour last night her reluctance to voice her troubles outside was disturbing, the camp was one of the safest place for both of us and yet Nancy practically cowered at the silent tents around her. Sliding from the covers of the bed, Miguel could feel the sudden empty space beside him as he made a rough noise of disapproval. “¿No puedes quedarte por más minutos amor ?.”

With his head buried within his pillow, I plucked my clothes from the bundle of my own and Miguel’s before soothing his untamed hair. “ My angel, me encantaría pero… Nancy needs to speak with me and I shouldn’t waste anymore time.” Lifting his head, his eyes struggled to open as he tried to keep his attention on me before my nimble fingers, that were still entwined in his hair,lulled his back to sleep. After that, I pulled on my boots and made my way over to Nancy’s tent.

Only the birds with their morning chirps made noise in the camp, no snoring erupted from the tents or the crackle of the fire as some huddled around it. As I stood at the opening of Nancy’s tent, I called out for her in a whisper but nothing came back; I spoke again but much louder, still nothing. The girl was probably exhausted from whatever shook her so much yesterday, pushing forward into her tent I nearly stumbled over her discarded blankets.

Everything seemed neat except for Nancy’s bed, her covers had been flung to the floor and the woman herself wasn’t there. Her trunk was still secured with its lock and there was no sign that she had just left the camp, her shoes were still lined across the edge of the bed.

Leaving the tent, my eyes dart around the camp hoping that she was somewhere safe, _she couldn’t of gone far_. In the midst of my panic, Miguel emerged from his tent to which I rushed over to tell him of Nancy’s absence. The man adjusted the rifle on his shoulder before gripping onto my shoulders, the weight distracting me from my scattered mind. “ Nancy’s probably walking around the outskirts, I’m sure she’s just waiting for you. Ven, la encontraremos

.”I wanted his words to smooth my frantic stance but I couldn’t lose that sensation, especially after my last interaction with Nancy.

Whilst strolling through the outskirts with Miguel, we began to talk in order to break the unintentional tension that became suffocating. “ Do you think you’ll ever go home?” Miguel’s question became all too familiar to the reason Tom had given me yesterday. “ You know I can’t just leave you and the others.” Miguel stopped and looked past the trees where the distant lake stretched over the area. “ Not now but in the future, you said you’ve got a sister you haven’t seen, wouldn’t you want to meet her, possibly even go home with _a few children of your own._ ” Snickering behind the cover of my hand, I looked to Miguel who wore a roguish smile and quirked his eyebrow as he waited for my answer.

Over Miguel’s shoulder I saw a blurred image lingering in the tall grass, the pristine white colour stood out against the ground. Miguel caught my unfocused gaze and turned around where we both stared at the outline of a body.

I kept praying that it wasn’t her, that it wasn’t Nancy that lay on the mud. _She’s fine, she’s fine, that isn’t Nancy_. I couldn’t fathom the other choice; I trudged through the high blades of grass until my feet collided with the legs of the body, their arms sprawled into the ground were littered with burn marks. Dropping to my knees, I grabbed at their arms but scowled and retracted my fingers at the cold feeling, as my shaking fingers reached again for them I turned their body towards me and felt a shattering cry leave my throat.

_Nancy’s lifeless eyes stared into my own as her body sagged into my arms._

Bringing Nancy’s head to my chest, I cradled the woman as I had done many years ago in that alleyway, the sight of Nancy’s pale face was horrifying. Miguel began moving around and calling out for me but I kept weeping for my friend, my flow of tears fell onto Nancy’s cheek but the woman didn’t move. Pulling my hand back, I saw the droplets of blood on my hand and from a glance at her back I saw two puddles of bloods already soaked through her night gown and almost unnoticeable metal shells dug into her exposed skin.

Most of everything became hazy to me after that moment, despite the hands on my shoulders that tried to pry me away from Nancy I kept my grip on her head and cried out to those who came near, they couldn’t touch her and I didn’t want to see her leave until Miguel knelt beside me, he switched his gaze between me and Nancy with a somber request and I eased my grip on her head just enough for Miguel to pick up her limp body and carry her in his arms back to the camp.

I watched as Archibald peeled back her hair to look at her for only a few moments before dismissing Miguel, telling him to prepare a grave for her and then crawling back into his tent with a stone-like expression.

Someone had dragged me back to my tent where I clutched my arms until the pain from my nails became numb; I waited until the others began to walk from their tents into the far edge of the camp and I joined them, none of them spoke or showed any form of empathy for the woman, just staring at the covered hole with a makeshift cross harshly dug into the ground.

Archibald drawled on about his memories with Nancy and how she had looked so innocent as he brought her into their lives before his tone changed dramatically and he spoke of her ‘ unlawful murder ’ and the killer still having not yet faced ‘the brutal ways of justice’. By some manner, Emily had found herself at the foot of Nancy’s grave despite occasionally limping around the grave and holding a hand to her mouth to silence her weakened cough.

“ Nancy was naive, frivolous, frightened at every moment and not suited to this lifestyle. She was a patient lady that was killed like some rabid dog, though she was not one of us her presence shall be missed.”

Most of them hummed in agreement at Emily’s words and only Miguel’s arm around my waist kept me from lashing out at the woman. If it wasn’t for Nancy Emily would of suffered a much worse fate Emily, Nancy served the same role as Emily in the gang and she had the boldness to publicly say that she wasn’t apart of the gang even though Nancy had been loyal to the gang far longer than I had.

One by one they began to leave her grave until it was only myself and Miguel who had at some point pulled me into my arms, it gave me the opportunity to continue my cries of both sorrow and frustration. “ Its happened again Miguel. I shouldn’t of been selfish and left her, if I hadn’t left m-maybe I could of been there for her, to stop the bastard that shot her.” With gentle caresses to my cheeks, Miguel tilted my face up to him so that he could question me. “ Again? What do you mean, has this happened before?”

“… with my little brother Johnny. H-h… He wanted to meet with his friends but didn’t know the way so I told him where to go, he was only twelve but had trouble with his memory. He asked me to go with him but I just… shoved him out of the lodgings and then-then I went out and found him in an alley bleeding out, he’d gone down the wrong alley and got mixed up with some gang that left him to die. He was twelve and I got him killed, now its happened again.”

I remember his wilted body, unmoving in my arms; the rain had been flooding the streets and began to fill the alleyway and only then did Walter find me after hours of searching, Mum had collapsed to the floor once she saw him and had cried for several days.

Miguel hadn’t comforted me as the others had all those years ago, he didn’t speak, didn’t tell that the blame wasn’t mine to bear, he just held me tighter against his chest and gently kissed the top of my head until he slightly pulled away to reveal a growing figure in the distance.

James approached Nancy’s grave and laid a flower at the edge before turning to me and Miguel with a trembling smile. “ I can’t imagine how Nancy would feel right now if she knew that she was the centre of attention.” You could see how James was on the verge of breaking, his puffy eyes to his dishevelled clothing; it was clear from his comment that both James and Nancy truly cared for one another but didn’t feel the need to share it with the others. “ I’m sorry James, I wish that I could of-“

“ It’s ok Martha, Nancy didn’t fear her death that always lingering around the corner because she knew she wouldn’t of joined the gang if she couldn’t accept the risks but… this.” He outstretched his hand to her grave and the collection of footprints scattered around it. “ She wouldn’t of wanted all these people who treated her like shit to prance around her grave as if she was an angel that spent time with them, they didn’t deserve to say those things. They knew nothing about her!” James laughed to himself as he broke away before lifting his head and facing me. “ Nancy once told me, I know my role in this camp and I know that I’m only useful because of my medical background but I’m fine with it cause I’ve got people like you, Miguel and Martha to make everything mean something to me, she really had a way with words.”

That night, something had driven Archibald to the proclamation of our departure, not for reason of our recent robbery or for the devastation of Nancy’s death but instead for the fear that Nancy’s killer could still be waiting for us to lower our guard only for him to strike again. Unlike last time, it was a silent process and we each helped only ourselves in throwing our tents onto the wagon. It didn’t take long before the subject of Nancy’s tent arose among the rush of packing everything, it was Archibald say that led to her tent and personal belongings being consumed in a tower of fire that continued to grow even as we rode past Casidence and into the undiscovered rural land. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise to anyone who enjoyed Nancy's character, it's difficult to kill off your own characters, especially such a innocent one. But with only a few chapters remaining, who knows what'll happen next. Thanks for reading!
> 
> "¿No puedes quedarte por más minutos amor ?"= Can't you stay for a few more minutes love?
> 
> " Me encantaría pero " = I'd love to but...
> 
> " Ven, la encontraremos" = Come, we'll find her


	14. House of Madness

After a day or so of traveling in a cluster of silence, Archibald urged us from the path towards an area of flat land with trees that were perfectly in line with each other, it was too organised to be apart of untouched land; someone owned the ground we were trampling with our horses. Archibald turned his horse towards us as we awaited his explanation, the distance we had created between ourselves and Casidence wasn’t far enough and anyone could easily track us down in such exposed land, this was uncommon for Archibald and it was clear from the side-eyed glances from the others that they were just as suspicious.

“ Just beyond these trees there is a trial that leads you to a house but not just any house. This _estate_ belongs to Edward Walker, an old friend of mine from my gambling days who I happen to regularly keep in contact with. He told me a few days ago that tomorrow night he shall be leaving for the night for a reason I can’t recall, the man has already dug his own grave.”

Archibald got down from his horse and started to chuckle, mostly to himself, as he walked towards the wall of trees and pushed away the low branches to reveal a fuzzy yet bright outline of a house and beyond it was an abundance of produce sprouting from the ground. The others climb down as well but hesitantly approached Archibald.

“ Why are you telling us this Archibald, we need to get moving.” Kathy looked around with balled fists on her hips.“ My dear, we haven’t got quite enough money to find our footing in another camp, we just to do one more job and then we can get back onto the trial to our new home. It’s simple, we rob Mr. Walker after he leaves tomorrow night, I’ve known the man for many years, not the type for security so I don’t think it’ll be too hard to break into his lovely house.”

Jeremiah looked frustrated with Archibald’s cocky nature, I could see from his parted lips that he had some concerns but the man didn’t voice them only storming off towards the wagon. Alexander and Owen seemed thrilled by the job and quickly sauntered over to their leader to present their ideas.

The heist in Casidence had only been a mere few days ago and to some it seems to have become a long forgotten event, we were expected to have enough money to last us for months. How could we need more, none of us lived lavish lives if we wanted that we’d of left by now to live in New York and sip Champagne with our earnings, we were careful with our spendings.

I decided against setting up my tent, if we were only here for a job we would need to leave quickly and didn’t need the hassle of tugging down our tents. I told Jeremiah to keep it inside the wagon, he nodded with a cold expression and I looked for Miguel who had conveniently finshised making his own tent; he was pleased when I told him that I’d spend my nights in his tent rather than my own, it sparked some sort of eagerness inside of him and with very little convincing, he had dragged me to his bed.

Afterwards, my body lay atop Miguel’s as his fingers crawled around my bare skin and I fought with the very compelling idea of sleep, only the tight and almost uncomfortable feeling in my stomach kept me from it. “ Martha ?” I hummed against Miguel’s chest as my fingers traced the lines of faded scars. “ Have you ever thought about the things we could do if we weren’t criminals?” His question reminded me of those moments before finding _her_ in those woods, he had asked about leaving. My eyes darted to his face to find his eyes already staring at me, I was almost baffled by his question. “ What do you mean?”

“ Well we could mingle in the streets of society and not worry about those who could recognise us, we’d be just another normal citizen and we wouldn’t have to eat what could be found in the wild. _Things are changing in this country_ , I’m not sure if it’s for the better or the worse but I know for sure that this gang… i-it ain’t gonna last for much longer, we can’t keep this up and at that moment when we’ve reached our end, we’ve gotta leave them.”

I understood Miguel’s suggestions, this whirlwind of events was slowly coming to the end of its destination but I couldn’t lose everything just yet, I was undecided for the path that would come next. “ I lived in a society for four years, you ain’t missing much but I guess there are some things I miss. Let’s hope that after what ever happens tomorrow, it’ll get better and if not maybe you’re right, _maybe it has all ended.”_

With a chaste kiss to my forehead, Miguel held me closer to his chest before whispering against my hair. “ I love you.” It didn’t take long before I replied back, no hesitation in my words. “ I love you too.”

Hours later, as we huddled around the morning fire and grimaced among ourselves , Archibald spoke in a nonchalant tone. “ In the night, Jeremiah must of left the gang; he wasn’t here when I woke up this morning, no horse, no tent… just nothing, can’t imagine why.” With a glance over my shoulder I saw the empty space between Owen’s and Nathaniel's tent, Jeremiah didn’t bother in hiding his displeasure in tomorrow’s job; the man had became more reclusive after leaving Casidence and would often at times leave Archibald’s tent with hurried steps and daunting eyes. Obviously the others weren’t bothered about their friends sudden disappearance, _their friend_ who upheld the gang’s concealed nature and kept everyone safe.

“ The fucker was suspicious anyway, who knows what he did or what he’ll do now.” Alexander scoffed down the food in his hand as he spoke, he seemed uninterested and beside him Owen folded his arms with a mocking attitude. “ Well _that fucker_ was our only member who would’ve of been perfect for this job.” Alexander scowled at the man but it quickly fell as Archibald became more irked by their bickering. “ Who cares, we don’t need him.”

Throughout the rest of the day it seemed everyone shared a sense of unease as if they all stood at the edge of a cliff, we each tried to distract ourselves with meaningless tasks but soon enough we shared our meal and prepared for Archibald’s signal. As the moon glowed across the land and painted its light across the trees, we lingered amongst the organised woods until we stilled at the noise of hooves and beside us I could see a dark carriage pass us, it’s driver was hidden with many layers and the curtains of the carriage were drawn, not giving us the opportunity to inspect the man we would momentarily rob.

As we approached the house without the brash noise of our horses, the details of it grew more refined and impressive; there was stone path that led to the base of the house were benches lay on the porch and the wide bay windows exposed the lush interior of the house with many objects dotted around, on the second level there was an open balcony with a range of windows and ajar doors and above the balcony was a single window with a dusted lantern glowing the disregard room. The stained glass doors held no security forMr Walker’s home and with hastily work Clyde lock picked our way inside within moments.

Without the guidance of light, it became difficult to see what surrounded us, we all stared around the main entrance, there were two rooms beside us, possibly lounging areas so they wouldn’t hold much value other than dainty trinkets. Archibald with the movement of his hand guided us towards the stair case that led to a series of closed doors, with only fifteen minutes to loot the home we began to scavenge through the rooms. In the first room, there was a high wooden bed with light coloured walls surrounding it and in the corner was a dressing table where many pieces of jewellery called out to me, plucking them from the table and tossing it into my bag I could hear the various noises of draws being opened and soft giggles as everyone shuffled through the rooms.

Entering another room, I heard Archibald call out to in an unneeded loud voice, we had only a few minutes left before we had to make our departure and from the cheery reply from the others our job was successful so far. Not wanting to waste time, I moved further into the room; the tall bookcases filled the room and in the midst of the stacks of printed words was a desk struggling to comprehend the mass amounts of paper littered around it. With a closer inspection, the paper seemed to be of use, they were bonds, as I thumbled through the paper I saw a half-written letter catching my attention no matter how I distracted myself with the job, the ink pen beside it was still filled with ink and dripped onto the wood of the table, the cursive handwriting was fresh, _it was if it’d been written only a moment ago._

Feeling a familiar churning feeling in my stomach, I dug my nails into the brittled wood and bowed my head towards the letter as I narrowed my eyes to carefully glance over the words.

_Dear Mr Denvers, The money that you sent six days ago have successfully reached our establishment and hopefully I can receive confirmation from our Australian associates that your money will be enough to own a wide expanse of land but I can assure you once again that your money shall be secured until you request it. I hope that your criminal lifestyle has ran its course-_

Archibald spoke of his connection to Mr. Walker but it seemed the man was very loosely describing the extent of his relationship with him, obviously money was the main link between them but how much money was he actually sending off ?

At the sharp sound of a gunshot I looked towards the door and heard a flurry of footsteps, stuffing the letter into my bag I closed all of the open drawers and made my way to door only for it to be flung open by Miguel who held a look of fear and relief. “ Gracias a dios, we’ve gotta go, we aren’t alone in this house.”

Another gunshot and the heavy thud against the floor, Miguel grasped my wrist and yanked me from the room and made our way through the hallway to the stairs when another gunshot sounded near close to our ears and we instinctively ducked our heads. Rough mumbling shouts of Archibald’s name called out into the hallway and muffled phrases as they fumbled with reloading their rifle.

Taking our chance, we reached the front door only to see a wide spread of blood and the unrecognisable body of James, his face was obscured by the darkness and we stood stagnant. Breaking away from Miguel I reached out to grab his body, to take him away when I was harshly shoved to the ground by Kathy as she made way for Owen to carry Archibald through the front door. The man’s emotionless expression couldn’t hide the bloodied stain across his stomach and the trial that he was leaving behind as he limped past James’ dead body without any notice.

Miguel pulled me up and Owen shouts to us over Archibald’s sagging shoulder. “ Leave him, we already lost Nathaniel. There’s no point in bringing James as well, just go now!” The window beside us shattered as the noise in my ears partially became scrambled, we ran from the house and kept sprinting. Owen kept spurting words about the situation and how wrong it went to which Alexander kept placing the blame on the others; Archibald grimaced and waded through conscience and Mateo constantly had to shake the man violently to keep him wake.Without our horses, we grew tired quickly and without any encouraging words from our leader we struggled in our path back home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well seems things didn't turn out quite right for the gang, also sorry news for James and Nathaniel. In the next chapter we see the aftermath of the job. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> " Gracias dios" = Thank Goodness


	15. The End of Stability

“He needs a doctor, we’ve got to go back to Casidence. It’s our only option.”

“ No it’s not boy, that why you’re gonna stitch him up. I’ve seen you making traps and bait before, its the same thing.”

“ Are you insane! You’re putting Archibald’s life in my hands, Nancy could of done this-“

Mateo was shoved into Archibald’s tent as Alexander gripped the man’s shoulders and closed the flaps of his tent behind him, Owen was already inside and we watched their figures with tentative eyes as Mateo began his work. After we had reached camp, no one came to greet us, it was silent albeit the shallow grunts from Archibald as Owen dragged him to his tent; they randomly picked Mateo to help Archibald with a unreliable reason behind it; without Nancy, Archibald’s fate was held by unsteady hands.

Alexander and Owen left Mateo after a few short minutes, they shared a look of hesitation; Owen made his way to his tent only to find that Emily and Tim weren’t there, with a simple note Emily proclaimed that she no longer wanted this life anymore and didn’t want her son to be apart of it, she spoke of her plans to live in Germany, she didn’t make any mention of her regrets or her undying love towards Owen; this only infuriated the man further and he started to flail his arms whilst mumbling about his wife.

For those painful hours, we all stood at the opening of Archibald’s tent waiting. Until Mateo, with bloodied hands, left the tent with exhausted eyes and fragile steps, we all stared at him for answers and he bluntly replied. _Archibald would be dead by the morning._

The main concern for Alexander and Owen was not for the last moments of their leader but about who would take his place after his death. They protested against each other’s abilities and the situations in which their leadership had helped the group, we all tried to ignore them with the fire in front of us but their mocking tone became increasingly unbearable. Both James and Nathaniel had been left in that house and we could do nothing about it, Clyde had secluded himself to his tent and made no efforts to shroud his cries for his fallen friend. Eventually the topic of the men’s argument had changed, they began to toss around the blame for their troubles; Nancy’s killer, the failed job and everything in between. With the conclusion that it wasn’t their own, they began to make their way over to us with intent grins.

“ Maybe it’s Kathy, she's never quite liked Nancy and always complained about her lack of money. Might of been a reason for her to kill the girl.” Alexander and Owen began to make circles around us as we each huddled closer, Kathy snarled at Alexander. “ You’re full of shit, Alexander. If I recall correctly, I was in your bed _with you_ that night so I couldn’t of killed her.” Owen draws his gun and uncharacteristically waves it in our faces whilst making noises of laughter, at some points he would point it at our faces before dropping his aim and moving forward. Miguel pulls me to his chest as Owen abruptly stops in front of me.

“ Martha… Martha you’ve got some explaining to do. For example, you’ve been in the gang for what, a few weeks, and all this shit started happening when you joined. Also, you made yourself quite good friends with Miss Nancy; maybe she was the easiest to kill. Oh have already mentioned that you were previously in fact a bounty hunter and we found you trying to turn in Mateo. Perhaps the governmentsent you.” He begins to move closer to me and the barrel of his revolver grows more visible to my eyes, with his explosive manner I anticipated for him to pull the trigger but he retracts his pistol and places in its holster.

“ This ain’t the time for making accusation and killing people… however I might not be so forgiving tomorrow.” The men leave and the four of us remaining breathe out a sigh of relief, we each hide ourselves from those men in the safe environment of our tents.

We didn’t sleep that night, we couldn’t, how could we when Owen just implied that I’d be dead by tomorrow for both Nancy’s death and my supposedly suspicious past. Both me and Miguel sat together at the end of his dead with entwined hands, we both contemplated our next move in this game those men were playing. “ We’ve got to leave Martha. What we said might happen, _has happened_ and even I can tell that there’s no hope left for this gang.” I stayed silent, rather tightening my grip on his hand, the feeling of tears swelling in my eyes. “ I don’t want you to die over some battle of power, I love you too much for that to happen; you’re too pretty.” Chuckling with blurred eyes, I turned to Miguel. “ So… how do we leave?”

“ Bien, it’s a rough plan but I want you to leave right now and head straight for the train station the one in Casidence, do you remember?” With a hazy memory I recalled passing one as I made my way to the post office, it was fairly close; I nodded and he carried on. “ I want you to wait for me there, then when I come laterwe’ll leave on a train. Not quite sure where we would go though, maybe North… or we could get onto a ferry and live somewhere else, without anything to bother us.” I was enthralled by the sight of Miguel gazing into the empty space as he blabbed about different places. “ Well why can’t we just leave now, together?” As he snapped back to reality, he stood up so that he could kneel between my legs and keep his eyes level with mine.

We can’t be making noise, they’ll be too much with two horses and I can make sure you’re not followed. In a few hours when they’re up I can announce that you’ve left and that I’m going to take the burden of finding you, Suficientemente claro.” As he pulled me from the bed, I grasped the sides of his face and kissed him with much more force then I had intended but Miguel was accepting either way; as our hands began to wander each other I pulled way just enough to hear him whispering soft words against my ears, we would meet again soon and I left the tent.

Fumbling through my saddle, I made sure that I was prepared until I felt the sharp cut of paper glided across my finger; I pulled it out as tiny dots of blood sprung from the cut. It was the half-written letter from Mr Walker that I found, I would never find out why he was sending money to him, _unless…_

When I entered Archibald’s tent, I saw the man’s stomach wrapped with layers of bandages, a dark red stain was already forming; with his arms draped across his bare chest, I felt selfish for trying to find answers for my curiosity once again, I turned around wanting to leave the dying man but heard the croak of my name being called out and his eyes were lingering on my prescene.

He motioned for me to sit on the stool beside his bed, which I reluctantly did. He had lost the sun-burnt colour of his skin, now only a monotone shade of white; despite his declining state, I needed answers. Plucking the letter from my pocket, I slid the paper into his hand before leaning forward. “ I want answers Archibald, you’ve been writing to Mr Walker about things you don’t write to an old friend.” Eyeing the paper with a bewildered gaze, Archibald with what little strength grinned as he re-read the letter many more times. “ Edward didn’t care for security, not for his business, his home and clearly now his personal life.” I pointed my finger at him, no longer interested in his charismatic words. “ I didn’t ask about him, explain yourself or I can save everyone the trouble and kill you _right now_.”

Raising his arms up, he continued to grin before shifting his position against the bed. “ Fine darling… you know I used to be quite a infamous criminal, used to rob from anywhere, didn’t matter if it was some rusty shop or the prettiest bank, me and my gang would sweep through it seconds and could get away before-“

“ For fuck’s sake, less on the past and move on !” At my tone, Archibald shuddered and coughed against his hand.

“ Anyways, those days used to be exciting but then as time went on, people died and others joined and yet there wasn’t a thrill anymore, the lifestyle was becoming like my previous one, just a cycle and I never wanted that. I needed to leave but I didn’t want any of you lot trying to find me and convince me to come back so I started taking money from our jobs and sending it to my old friend, in simpler terms he was lookin’ after the money. Planned on going to Australia but don’t think I’ll be going anywhere now.” In the end, all of troubles had happened all because Archibald was bored and no longer wanted to care for others, the man proceeded to talk even after I found my answers.

“ You know this wouldn’t of happened if Nancy had just minded her business and hadn’t found that letter, I walked into my tent to find her reading one from Edward and oh how she trembled, promised that she wouldn’t say a word but… couldn’t trust her in the end, knew she was close with you and James so I dragged her from her bed to the outskirts where I made a deal with her, if she could get past the trees she’d be free and wouldn’t be harmed and so being the naive girl she was took the bait and ran. Long story short, I shot her and from what I heard earlier seems like you’re the main culprit for it, don’t regret it though just an act of survival.”

Archibald only rested his head against his pillow, clearly showing no emotion for Nancy’s death, those tender words he spoke about her at her grave were lies, false words needed to hide the truth from others. Nancy died because of the truth she discovered and her hesitant nature the night before she died finally made sense; her body being unusually far away from camp, the bullet wounds in her back, everything made sense.

“ I thought I’d never despise anything more than murders, especially the ones that killed my little brother but now you’ve proven me wrong. You ain’t some infamous criminal Archibald, just a traitorous piece of shit.” Archibald laughed as I stood and began to leave. “ I-I should of left you to bleed out or even better just shot you myself at your trial.”

“ Maybe you should of but that was your mistake.”

Leaving the camp, I felt calmed that the mystery of Nancy’s death had been solved and our cowardly leader, who was seen as some sort of prophet, had been exposed. Without any distractions or heavy wagons mulling behind, I had reached Casidence before the sunrise had begun and I tugged on Chips’ reigns as we reached the cobbled stone streets.

Chips had to be set free, after the countless times I would lead him away from the house towards another bounty, the horse deserved a reward for its service; Chips no longer looked like the colt I had payed for at the stables, he was loyal to me when others weren’t and I couldn’t bare to leave him hitched to a post or sold off to someone else. Tying my saddle bag to my waist , I loosened the straps of the saddle until it fell from his back and he made a noise of joy at the lack of weight. Combing my fingers through his mane for what would be the last time, I felt the unease in Chips’ movement as he huffed and made small steps, he knew as wellthat we wouldn’t meet again. Gliding my hand across his back until I reached his tail I couldn’t comprehend how many tears I was shredding over the horse.

“ You’ve been good to me Chips and I wished we could of stayed together for a little longer. Adios, mi querido amigo.”Slapping my hand against Chip’s body, he jolted off with a cry and quickly he became nothing more than a blurred outline.

Walking to the train station, I watched the glances from the people afar, they quirked their eyebrows and hide their mouths behind their hands, possibly questioning why such a fool would stumble into their civilised town. Passing through the ticket booth inside, I took a seat outside on the platform deciding that once Miguel arrived I would pay with my remaining salvaged money for our tickets. Trains made their stops every hour or so, the conductor would call for passengers and people would rush out from inside with their bundle of luggage. Tapping my fingers against my knee, I thought to more pressing manners, where would we go?

Maybe we could go up north to Canada. Perhaps travel across the sea to Paris to indulge in the French culture. _Go home?_ Would Miguel even like England, it was delightful to think of the man enjoying the many pubs.

With a cramping pain lingering in my stomach, I tenderly stroked the covered skin hoping that whatever was the cause of this would fade away, it had became uncomfortable at points where I would clutch on to my arms as a distraction. Peering over my shoulder and into the building, I watch the arms of a clock point to the mid afternoon, I hadn’t expected to wait this long for Miguel but in hindsight there was a long distance to travel between here and the camp, nothing could go wrong but what if Owen had chosen Miguel to take my place and killed him without any regard, what if he was injured and had no-one to help him, just stuck in those isolated woods. _No_ , I couldn’t think those things Miguel was a capable man who had shown his skills in numerous occasions.

Those minutes I spent anticipating Miguel’s arrival had presumably turned to hours, the sun had cast a blend of colours in the sky as it fell. A finger tapped gently against my shoulder and I felt blissful as I turned to… _it wasn’t Miguel_. The man had been inside the ticket booth when I arrived, he was young from a quick glance and showed no sign of confidence as he stuttered. “ M-miss you’ve been here all da-day, are you going to get on a train.”

“ Yes, I’m just waiting for someone, should be here soon.” He stroked the hair at the back of his neck, I turned away and continue to gaze at the clouds. “ Ok, well I just thought that you should know that the last train of the day will be arriving in ten minutes.” _The last train,_ if I didn’t get on I’d be kicked out and I hadn’t got enough money to spend the night at an inn as well as pay for our tickets but I couldn’t leave without Miguel, we had started this plan together. Perhaps I was waiting for a dead man. Would tomorrow come and I would still be spending my day waiting for him until a cycle formed until I no longer had any money, after that would I stroll through the forests without a horse praying that I would find him on my journey.

Shoving the money into his hand, he retuned moments later with my ticket. The train would take me to the next town where I could pay for another ticket for my next destination which I no longer cared about. Falling back into bounty work was useless after Tom said they didn’t need anymore money, would I keep my promise to him after all, really just face everything and go home to see Mum and Alice. Digging my palms into my face, I felt the wet feeling of tears, Miguel was dead and nothing could prove to me otherwise; those men had killed him, _I know they did_ and they took away my dearest, the man who given everything despite the risks.

The future I had desperately wished for with him was ruined. I only hoped that those left in that camp, Mateo, Clyde and Kathy had made the choice as mine, ran away.Hearing the blaring noise of a train whistle, I stood from my seat and inched closer to the edge of the platform; as the train slowed a gush of wind flew past me and the opening of a carriage stood at my feet, I waited as other descended from the train until a man appeared and asked for our tickets.

Not many were present in the carriage, an array of couples or business men who kept to their own. I leant against the glass saying a whispered goodbye to Miguel as the train spurred forward slowly and the houses of Casidence washed past me like paint. Everything, from the gang, to Nancy, to _Miguel_ or even the fragile boy Tim had became apart of me and made me feel for that short time like I had a family. I loved every moment spent with them despite some more aggressive and painful memories. After everything, I hadn’t kept to those words I said to Archibald when I stood at my trial, _I would keep them safe_ and I hadn’t only putting them into more danger and now it was my duty to never forget those people and that sea of lies I had fallen into when I had innocently joined that gang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not worry, the next chapter will be the finale and it will be a epilogue. I can't believe myself that I've written such a long story, I thought the by now I would of just given up on it. Also after many chapters, we find out that Archibald was the killer! I had to make the tough decision of making him the villain in the end. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> " Bien "= Alright  
> " Suficientemente claro " = Clear enough   
> " Adios, mi querido amigo" = Goodbye, my dear friend


	16. The significance of Delfina

-1887-

Nuneaton didn’t resemble the adrenaline that was introduced when living in the crowded streets of Birmingham nor did it have the calm sense that followed when living near the forgotten place of Burnstown however there were qualities that I longed for, things had changed and my interests and desires no longer appealed to me anymore. After the six week journey it took to travel from America back to England I was welcomed into my mother’s home in Wombourne with some-what open arms as word of my ‘criminal involvement’ had reached her ears.

Weeks later, Mum gifted me the money I had been sending over to her for years, according to her she stopped needing it so she took it upon herself to save it in hopes that I could use in case her daughter ever decided to come back and now it had helped me in many ways.

Moving to Nuneaton was successful with only a few misunderstandings with not many people taking well to the unmarried woman buying a cottage and playing no part in the involvement with the industrial revolution that seemed to sweep through the towns, all of that smoke that lingered in the air of the streets seemed unappealing to me and I stayed away quite often.

I didn’t need to spend my days at a factory or under the feet of some manor lord, Ilived in comfort with my savings and spent my days caring for more _important matters_ or gazing at the magnificent scenery that I gained whilst living in my cottage. Memories of the past never left me and every day I found myself thinking of my lost love.

As the morning sun began to rise further, I sat outside in my garden sipping on my tea, the steam sticking to my skin as I lifted the cup to my lips. Listening to the soothing sounds of a childish giggle from inside the house, I could the hear the meow of a cat as they ran ramped through the rooms, _what was she doing now to that poor cat_. Thinking of my daily tasks of the day, I heard a knocking at the front door, almost urgent from the repeated banging against the frail wood. Gathering my skirt, I glided through the hallway wondering who would come at such a early time; most likely it would be the elderly Mrs. Stewart clutching Rosey in her arms again.

Pulling open the door with force, I found that it wasn’t the old woman with the black and white cat sleeping in the crook of her arm but a tired man with light brown skin, his wavy brown hair was neatly tucked behind his ears and a faint scar was painted at the bottom of his jaw that I could only see from how close the man had placed himself.

At first he seemed familiar but the chance of one of them coming here for me was unlikely, his eyes were widened and he stood like a statute of stone until I cocked my eyebrow at the stranger.

“ Excuse me sir, can I help you?” He blinked before he adjusted his stance and straighten the front of his worn jacket. “ Martha… it’s me, Mateo Jessen I’m sorry if I look different it-it’s been some time since we last saw each other you see.”

With a brief and sudden embrace, I ushered him inside into my kitchen where I poured the previously boiled water into another cup for Mateo who clearly beamed at the sight of the brewing tea, his hands were red and looked numb.

Mateo began to talk about his life, he didn’t want to live in some city where he wouldn’t live at ease so he moved to some quiet town and lived above a shop where he would often spend his time hunting in the forests and bringing it to the butcher for money; from his blank expression I could tell that life didn’t bring him any excitement he was there to survive, he made no mention of friends or companions in this life of his. “ Have you heard anything about the others?”

“ Yes, actually, sometimes I have to travel to cities for specific supplies so I find out that type of information in the streets, no one is as confidential as they used to be. Turns out Clyde died of a fever shortly after we left, he wasn’t the same after Nathaniel died though. Um, Oh, Kathy I think went back to the brothel she worked at seems like she just couldn’t let that profession go after all. Then… You’ll enjoy this one, when Emily and Tim got to Germany she remarried and completely forgot about her son, to the point where Tim left and moved back to America to live with some rich relatives, can’t imagine what life that twelve year old is living now.”Laughing at his stories of the others, I brought over his tea and we both sat at the dining table, comfortably in our own worlds of the past.

The noise must of have caught her attention as moments later, Delfina came sneaking through the entrance and hide herself behind my chair with her head poking past my waist; she was becoming more like her father, always sneaking up at moments when you needed them. “ Who is he Mum? Chippy ran outside so I thought I would come see you.” Mateo looked adamantly shocked, his hands wrapped around his cup and his mouth slightly hanging open before he took his gaze off Delfina and looked to me.

“ This is Mateo, he- he’s an old friend of your fathers.” She covered her mouth to hide her smile, Delfina started to ask more of her father and I tried to answer her with what little I could explain to her. With every passing year she grew with more of his features piercing through, her tanned skin and lustrous black hair were clear signs but more subtle things like the long denselength of her eyelashes made me struggle with his absence. “ Can you tell me something about my Dad, was he as brave as Mummy says he was?”

“ Can’t say I would be here if it wasn’t for the many times your father saved my life and I know that he loved your mother more than anything else, there wasn’t a moment that he wasn’t by her side.” Mateo could give more to Delfina than I ever could, he had shared many memories with Miguel despite the love and time we has shared. Pleased, Delfina ran to the garden calling out for the cats she would never leave alone; I held back those recurring tears at the mention of Miguel and Mateo’s description of him, the man waited until Delfina was far away from his whispered voice. “ Martha, are you a mother ?”

Leaning back into the chair, I smirked to Mateo. “ No, I stole her. Yes, ofcourse I am and before you asked, Miguel is Delfina’s father. Found out once I discovered it wasn’t the sea that kept making me sick on the way back to England, she’s perfect though reminds me of him everyday.” Having an child out of wedlock was deeply frowned upon and everyone around me gasped at the rare occasions when I would bring Delfina with me to the markets, it didn’t help that they scoffed at the tone of her skin as they called out the name, _bastard;_ the girl wanted freedom but in this place these people would not give it to her.

“ That’s just it, I’m here to tell you… Miguel is alive Martha, he never died and now he lives in some fishing town called Portsbound.” Leaning my hand against my face, I sighed in annoyance.

“ Mateo, there could be hundreds of people that look like Miguel, you’re going to start telling me that after five years of raising a child and mourning for him that he’s fine and living a normal life.” The atmosphere has changed to a feeling of awkwardness, I move away from the table to place the cups in the sink for washing.

“ I know the man I saw was Miguel, no one could have the same identical scars on his face as he did. That morning, after you left, I went to Archibald’s tent and found him dead as I had expected and then seconds later Alexander and Owen are arguing about the new leader. It went south quickly and the men drew their guns but they couldn’t wait, they shot each other and died. All of us that were left agreed to leave for good and as we packed up, Miguel makes a comment about you waiting for him at a train station; he seemed quite concerned, he thought you might think he was dead by now and then left in a hurry.”

Mateo stopped talking as he deeply remembered that time but by my slight cough he continued. “ I didn’t think much of it, then couple years later I was resting in a salon as I headed for a city when I see this man at the bar, he looked sorrowful like he was drinking to forget. Realised it was Miguel and thought about you, just waiting for that train that you two were suppose to go on. Maybe he just never went to the station after all but knowing you I thought you’d be upset over the truth so I’ve been spending the last few years trying to find you to give you that choice to find him and those answers. Martha, whether you like it or not, Miguel deserves to know about Delfina.”

_Miguel Martinez Rodriguez was alive,_ perhaps Mateo was telling me some beautiful lie that held no truth to it; he couldn’t be alive, why would he not come with me when it was his idea. If Miguel wanted nothing to do with me why didn’t he say nothing and wait until the morning for Owen to kill me or just leave without telling me a thing, why prance me around like a prized horse with fake words of endearment; he did everything, for what ?

I remembered those months I spent carrying Delfina, throughout it all, I felt alone without him beside me with those charming and encouraging words of his. Delfina had no father to protect her, no father to show her how a man should treat her. He abandoned us and I couldn’t find any explanation for his actions.

“ Mateo, I can’t go find him. My mum can’t look after Delfina and my siblings are all over the bloody country. Despite the fuckin’ anger I have to go to America and find him with his piss poor excuse for leaving me… I just can’t, some things have got to go unanswered.” The dangerous influence of my curiosity had died out many years ago and I learnt to hold my tongue and consider Delfina. Mateo moved to the window that overlooked the garden where the little girl chased both Rosey and Chippy around the hedge.

“ I’ll look after her, I know how to look after myself it’s basically the same but I don’t know how I’ll be able to substitute her clearly professional mother.” Chuckling I joined Mateo at the window, thinking of her. Would she be fine without me ? Would she forget those lonely nights if I dragged back her father with me to meet her. It’d only be a few months at the most. “ You don’t know the first thing about it Jessen… I’ll go back, find him, demand some well deserved answers and tell him about Delfina. Anything that comes after that is his choice.”

With a rushed note, I explained Delfina’s interest and daily routine as well as other things that needed to be done around the house, I knew that Mateo could keep to his word and from those few moments he spoke with her I felt relived that she would be safe and kept sane. As I left that night, I saw the conflicted look in Delfina’s eyes she had wailed at my departure but was silent at the promise of trying to bring her father back to her.

The journey across the sea was all too familiar to my last experience albeit lacking the surprising news of my pregnancy, those weeks were unpleasant as the only smell that clung to my nose was the stench of the salty sea water and there was a lack of food to feed us both.

Once touching the American soil, I gazed at the changes in the country, more officers walked the streets and more inventions of technology were being presented each day, the untameable wild west period was reaching its end and soon enough everyone would forget about those who delved into the freedom of that time.The train to Portsbound was quite liberally overfilled with people in the beginning, the man sat beside me being too close for strangers on a train.

However at every stop more people seemed to leap onto the platform, after some time and less filled seats the train halted and the conductor called out for those who wanted the fishing town. The luggage in my hand was light, as if there was nothing inside, only a few changes of clothes, necessary items for long travel and ofcourse my trusted revolver that had kept me safe in many altercations, I left my rifle to ease my mind about any dangers that could venter near the cottage, I hoped Mateo had not forgotten his skills with guns.

Paying for a room at a saloon, I expected I would not have to endure this town for too long, the stench of the nearby river made me clench my fists every time the wind would brush by my nose.

With a drink and very little convincing, I sat at the bar of the saloon as the owner cleaned various glasses and talked about his usual customers. “ Well there’s always Quincy, Jenny, Miguel and Charlie, are they the sort of people you’re looking for ?” Knocking back the strong liquid, I felt the burns it left whilst traveling down my throat. “ Could you tell me more about Miguel?”

Never stopping with his job, the owner moved away and began to clean the stains off the empty tables. “ I don’t know much about him, no one really does. He’s just quiet and drinks alone, so we leave him be. All day he’s in those woods and then as soon as the sun goes down, boom, he’s in here.” Paying the man for both the drink and the information, I nodded to him and started to head for the forests that didn’t compare to the lush tree outside the house that always seemed to shine with the morning rain.

The ground beneath was lined with uneven and jagged stones that would find their way into my boots, the people around me moved from the shops and chatted about most subjects. Obliviously, my eyes never left the ground and I crashed into a tall figure without any objection; I brushed off the dirt off my trousers before my mouth became to act on itself and started to apologise for my lack of attention on my surroundings, a voice laughed and I looked up harshly, it was like a ghost whispering in my ear.

Jesse threaded his fingers into his hair before abruptly stopping and leaning forward, trying to look closer at my stunned face.

_Should I run? Pretend I didn’t burn my house down and walk away ?_ Jesse certainly changed his appearance, his once renowned long hair had been cut and now the ends of it curled at his ear; Jesse still had broad shoulders, it was as if he carried stones from how his posture straightened and he stood many heads above me. I imagined he would yell and strike his hand against my cheek in disgust for leaving him but instead his smile reached higher than anything I’d seen in him before.

“ Martha, is that you ? Shit, I didn’t think I’d ever see you again in my life. How have you been ? You look as radiant as I last remember.” Jesse clearly changed and no longer upheld that drunk and unhappy monster I saw in my mind. Stuttering, I spoke of the first things that came to me. “ I-I’m good, I’ve got a daughter now she’s only young.”

“ Well that’s real wonderful… Martha, I feel as if I must apologise for how I treated you in those last few months of us being together, I think I lost hope I could be better for you and turned to drinking. After coming back to the house, I saw just burnt wood and ash I thought you’d died and it only made my drinking worse and I was close to death. Then suddenly I just stopped, hated that I only could remember those arguments we had. I moved away and came here, got a job; in fact I’m going to the station now, movin’ to California, hopin’ that I can find a decent job there.” 

My eyebrows continued to raise at his every word, Jesse had changed and I couldn’t believe it. I thought that in a few minutes a dragon or a talking fish would walk the streets, it was unbelievable. Before joining the gang and when I threw myself into bounty work I thought that there was no return for Jesse and he would only continue to hurt himself and others around him but now he was happy and lived a life that only few could even dream of.

“ I’m happy for you Jesse, I really am. I must be going though, it was lovely to meet again.” Outstretching my hand to him, I couldn’t forget the reason I had came here despite the tempting ideas of speaking more with the man; Jesse shook my hand with a cheering smile before we each parted ways. 

As the evening drew closer, the boisterous chatter of the people became more vocal whilst they sneaked to the saloons; at this point I was certain that I was the first person to step into the woods, no birds made any noise or flapped their wings and the ground seemed to flourish in the sunlight as the blades of grass reached my knees and swiped at my clothes.

I had played out this moment for all those painful days it took to get here, there across the distance would be Miguel who looked as I remembered to which I would slap the man and beat him until I had my answers. Trodding through the trees reminded me of those crucial moments I had spent in this scenery, shooting those Richards with Mateo up until I got shot leaving a fragment of a scar on my shoulder or Miguel holding me under the light of the ever present moon. Shaking myself from those long forgotten memories of nothing but pain, I stopped walking and twisted my head around.

The path beside me had disappeared many miles ago and now I grew flustered at my lack of control. Being in this country made me lose my resilience and I found myself slipping into dreams of a past that no longer held any light, everyone was dead or lived a simple life ,something they would of despised when they lived as a criminal. ‘ This is pointless, I’m just gonna head for the saloon, he’ll be there, I’ll have to try and not cause a scene’ I spoke aloud seeing as nothing would reply to me.

With the soft crunch of a distant branch, my fingers twitched against my revolver as my eyes darted between the trees and the consuming bushes, dismissing it for an animal I walked on. That noise like the noise of a heavy boot or rushed footsteps wouldn’t leave me and I considered my exhaustion inducing this feeling, perhaps my lack of sleep was finally taking its toll on my body. With the urge to glance over my shoulder, I gave in involuntarily and felt the tingling sensation buzzing through the tips of my fingers. With a bowed head, a figure clad in dark clothes was drawing closer in my direction towards where the glow of the town continued to grow. I pushed back my misplaced hair and nervously moved my hands to my side, my next move could either cause me a great embarrassment or some much needed relief.

“ _Miguel…_ ”

They stopped and lifted their head as if a weight hung there and in that moment I was torn between the idea of crying aloud or smiling with every muscle in my face. After five years, I was within a few steps of Miguel and no longer relied on my mind to recall those distinct features I had fallen for.

Everything about him had not changed as drastically as Jesse’s appearance, his stance and height had stayed stagnant yet I still felt the need to raise my head in order to meet his heavy gaze, his stumble was more evident and fuller on his face but his hair still upheld that ink-like glossy style with only rogue strands showing signs of grey. What his eyes once held ,a sense of adventure and hope, was overtaken by fear and silence. The fire that had blazed within his dark pupils had been extinguished by a drowning pool of regret.

“ M-Mar-Martha, estoy soñando; you’re not real.” He started to carry on towards the town but I held out my arm to feel his chest collide into it and lift his eyes to me however with an abundance of realisation.

I wanted to hurt him so much as if the rage was pouring into my emotions but… I couldn’t, I could see so much of her in his eyes and it would never leave me if I beaten the father of my child. I pulled him towards me and dug my head into his shoulder, violently shedding those tears that had continued to build within me ever since I left Casidence like a dam being broken I shut my eyes until I felt a hand grip the back of my head bringing me closer to him. This scene felt familiar as it had happened many times before, an emotional embrace under the watchful eyes of the forest. 

That wall of rage I had intended to release had dissolved at the sight of his broken eyes and at the touch of his hand at my hip I leaned back but Miguel wouldn’t let go and instead brought the top of his head to mine. “ Why, Miguel? Why? Was I not enough for you to change?”

“ You were- are my everything Martha, there hasn’t been a moment I’m not reminded of you. I imagine you haven’t came for just that though, you want answers don’t you ?” I nodded as Miguel kissed my crown and I regained my composure, finally pulling away to see his watering eyes and somber posture.

“ I left after esos malditos imbéciles shot themselves, I was close to the station when lawmen stopped me saying that I was caught. They didn’t waste a moment to shoot Chico and I had one option, to run for the woods. I was lost, the thought of you Martha kept me from dying, I knew that you would wait for me but the image of those lawmen chasing you because of me, broke what little hope I had left inside of me. You would of been safer without me, and there was a better chance of you living a good life if someone else could provide it for you. That’s why I never came.”

Miguel had lost his horse and was left to survive alone whilst I had only my festering mind to convince me that he was dead. We each had our reasons for not waiting and the blame was equally balanced, did any of that matter even as we stood together years later with our child across the ocean.

“ Only you could give her what I can’t Miguel, I’ve tried for years but I see how she longs for you.” Stepping closer, Miguel put his hands on my shoulders as I tried to wipe away the evidence of my tears. From his fluttering eyes, I recognised his uncertainty. “ What do you mean ‘her’ ?”

“ Our daughter, Delfina, you’d think you were lookin’ in a mirror if you saw her Miguel, I think she even has your mischievous attitude.” Laughing with choked tears, I bare Miguel’s unknown reaction as his eyes freeze and his breathing becomes harsh; he hold a hand over his mouth whilst under a trance.

“ Sh-she… What. Is she ok? Why didn’t you tell me?” I shrugged my shoulders as I began to answers his question that I had not prepared for nor expected.

“ I didn’t know until I was halfway back to England, I’m not sure I could of written a letter to a man I believed to be dead… She’s fine though, I can teach so much but she’s a bright girl and spends most of her days fussing the cats but she needs her Dad, Miguel, I want him as well. Come back to England with me, don’t try and convince me that you enjoy living here.”

Clearly the idea of leaving a pregnant woman and never learning of his child for so long had a deep effect on the man as he tentative fingers reached out for my stomach and grazed the covered skin, as if he was apologising for those nights where Delfina would cry out for her father. Silence lasted between us and his finger stayed rigid against my abdomen, his eyes were trained to them and shortly afterwards I listened as he mumbled to himself with agreeing eyes.

“ Ofcourse, ofcourse mi quierdo; you can’t imagine how long I’ve prayed for a miracle, but…” Miguel turned away from me and took some steps away from and I longed for the warmth of his body. You could hear the cogs in his mind slowly turning, the rust that covered them breaking down as he nervously tapped his fingers, the taste of misfortune hung on my tongue as Miguel began to speak again with careful words. “ I can’t come with you. You need to give me time, time to change who I am and make sure that my daughter doesn’t see me as some shell of a man who left his family.”

“ No, no, you are not sending me off again with a deceiving promise-“ The man was going to repeat his last actions as if I had forgotten them and he could depose of me again but the fire that had been lost had started to ignite quickly. “ Please Martha you need to understand that you can’t stay here, soon enough you’ll see a different side of me that I never want you to see, you might decide that I’m no longer good enough to meet her. I swear to you that I shall change for both of you and once I do I’ll leave for the first ferry out of here.”

Thrusting my hands into the air, I used all the force in my voice until my final words became broken and croaked. “ You aren’t allowed to say things like that, _don’t say it, you’ll just leave me again.”_ If Miguel wasn’t going to come back with me, he should of used what little courage he had left and told me the truth, I had my answers so what was stopping me from walking away from him.

I didn’t move as he hesitantly stalked closer to me and held my face in between those rough hands that I had forgotten about, I didn’t move as his face dipped closer to mine and I was forced to look forward towards his glowing eyes, those eyes that had shone brighter than the lantern beside him as we first properly met without a blindfold to cover my senses. Somewhere deep inside lay the Miguel I had fallen for and he was struggling to climb through and only he could fix the damage that was pummelling the man. In that closed space we had created, his attention was being dragged over each part of my face and I couldn’t stop my body as I pushed my lips to his.

The raw emotion of Miguel’s fingers crawling down the small of my back was a reminder that time had not broken his love for me, even as we broke apart and I could feel his warm breath wash over my face he wasted not another moment before kissing me again but with more aching desire that had grew over some time.

It was me and Miguel in that moment with nothing around us and the movement against my lips acted as a make-shift promise that Miguel would return to me. By the time I was aware of my moving fingers, they had already slipped underneath Miguel’s shirt and were digging into his skin to which the man deeply groaned and replied with skimming his hands over my backside before harshly gripping the flesh. As the urge to breathe grew greater, we inched apart and started to chuckle in the madness of our encounter. “ Martha, mi amor, volveré contigo y Delfina.”

“ You’d better or you can swim your way to Nuneaton.” Knowing not to tease me further, he pulled me to his chest and spoke. “ How did find me anyway?”

“ I’m good at finding criminals, it’s sort of my speciality.” Shortly afterwards, I wrote down my address for Miguel when he would return to us and he escorted me to the train station where I waved to him from the open window and no longer felt the heavy pull of regret and guilt tear at my beaten heart, I would wait for Miguel because Delfina needed him, I needed him.

When I returned to the cottage, Delfina looked around me for signs of her father only to be utterly disappointed and yet understanding at my promise that he would come. Mateo had perfectly done his duties for those months I was desperate to return to her, I had yet to learn what skills he had taught my girl whilst I was absent but nothing good could come from it; Mateo was reluctant to go home and had awoken me with sudden news that he would be living in the town where he would work despite the cruel conditions, clearly Delfina had influenced him so much that he couldn’t bare to leave the last remaining reminders of his true family.

After five months and Delfina had recently turned six, I heard a questioning knock and opened the door to see the changed man I had been patiently waiting for, Delfina hugged my waist as she hid from her father until he knelt down on the rough stones to speak with her and then in a flash she was jumping into his arms with screams of joy. We could finally enjoy the peace of our new lives, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it, this has been the greatest experience for myself to be able to say that I've written my own little novel. I'm proud of myself, considering this has been my longest chapter. Also I really battled with if Martha would have a boy or a girl but I love Delfina ( it means good, classy and pure ).Thank you for reading! 
> 
> "estoy soñando" = I'm dreaming   
> " esos malditos imbéciles" = those fucking assholes   
> " mi quiero " = my dear   
> " mi amor, volveré contigo y Delfina"= " my love, I will come back to you and Delfina "

**Author's Note:**

> "Estas borracho" = You're drunk  
> " Que pinchazo" = What a prick  
> " Vamos amor" = Let's go love
> 
> You maybe questioning why she's speaking Spanish despite being British and in America, don't worry all shall be revealed in due time. Also I'm very much in love with the horses name, Chips.


End file.
